Thursday, December 28, 2023

New Year Resolutions – Yikes!

 


Here we are, at another New Year, that time when we set resolutions for the coming 12 months. Or try to. But here’s the thing, even with our best intentions, research shows that our resolutions rarely make it past 3 months. Sometimes not even past 3 weeks, or even 3 days. Sigh. But come on, we’re human, right? So we didn’t make it to the gym every day, we didn’t get up an hour earlier in the morning, we didn’t lose those pounds, we ditched the savings plan in favor of buying a new techie what’s-it, so? The world did not come to an end.

True. Yet those resolutions were meaningful to us. We didn’t make them lightly. And we really wanted to accomplish whatever those resolutions represented. We’re not lazy or stupid or without ambition, at least not for the most part. What went wrong?

S.M.A.R.T. We forgot to adopt resolutions that were Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T.). A process that management professionals have used for decades in facilitating not just goal-setting, but more importantly, goal-achieving.

How could this apply to New Year’s resolutions? Your resolution is to go to the gym every day. A laudable objective. Certainly, specific enough: “going to the gym” and “every day.” Is it measurable? Sure. “Every day” provides the measure. How about achievable? This is where most of us would stall. Every day? Hardly. There are days when you have to work early/late, days when you have to pick up/drop off the kids, days when a zillion other things interfere with “going to the gym.”

Maybe a back-track is in order. Instead, “specific” describes the time of day you set as your gym time, maybe the days of the week you intend to actually make it to the gym. Still measurable. Achievable? Much more so. Whew!

Next comes “relevant.” Uh . . . to what, you ask. Relevant to why do you want to get to the gym regularly in the first place? Surely, it’s not to show off your new Nike Ja-1 Chinese New Year sneakers? OK, maybe it is, but in addition to that, it’s because you’d like to be more fit, feel more energized. That’s why going to the gym regularly is relevant. Relevance is what motivates us. Relevance answers the “why” of why you set this resolution in the first place. Reminding yourself of the relevance of your gym resolution is what will support your ability to achieve your resolution.

Lastly, is your resolution time-bound? This is different from “measurable,” because “time-bound” will help you assess how you are doing with your resolution. Perhaps you set 3-month reviews of your success with your resolution. That not only shows how you stayed the course but in addition, can show how your success with your resolution contributes to the relevance of it. For example, are you more fit, do you feel more energized?  Setting periodic benchmarks to assess how you’re doing is important to keeping you motivated for the long haul.

That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? A New Year resolution that’s S.M.A.R.T., not just for day one of the New Year, but for every day of the year, so that you can enjoy the terrific feeling of accomplishing what’s important to you.

Happy New Year!


Tuesday, December 19, 2023

The Negativity Grinch, Episode 80

There’s a far worse Grinch than the Grinch that stole Christmas, and unfortunately that Grinch, the Negativity Grinch, lives in our own minds much of the time. Yet negativity, in and of itself, doesn’t have to be a Grinch.  In this podcast you’ll discover how to use negativity in its right and proper way, so that the Negativity Grinch doesn’t take over and suck the very joy out of your life.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp

 


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

From Needy to Deserving Episode 79

You don’t want to be seen as needy or clingy, or – even worse – desperate, yet you want to be loved, appreciated, valued! And yet, you have every right to want what you want to feel good, to be happy. In this podcast you’ll explore in specifics how to turn ‘needy’ into ‘deserving’ – and with that, be able to get that love you so richly deserve.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp


Check out this latest episode!

Friday, December 1, 2023

The Best Free Gifts for The Holidays

 


 

The Holidays. A time of giving. And giving and giving, until sometimes it feels like you are nothing but a shopping/buying machine, and the joy of giving, well . . . it’s going-going-gone.

But what if there were a way of giving that costs you nothing but a nano-second of attention? No currency – paper, plastic or crypto – involved. Zip. Nada. Actually, two ways of giving. Both of which give joy to the receiver, and guess what? To you as well.

Namely, compliments and thank yous. Compliments simply consist of noticing something pleasing about a person or their behavior. Compliments range from “What a great smile you have!” to “You are so thoughtful,” to “You do that so well!” Compliments can be given to friends, family, and total strangers. Especially at this hectic time of year, compliments genuinely and freely given to cashiers, sales reps, baristas and the many individuals who help us with our Holiday errands are greatly appreciated. And of course, your friends and family may very well be in shock to receive such an unprompted “You rock!”

Compliments must of course be socially appropriate. Generally, complimenting someone on their physical attributes is not appropriate. Unless it’s your partner or BFF, in which case it may be OK. However, best to err on the side of caution, and compliment accordingly.

Thank yous can be given any time anywhere to anyone for anything! A favorite of mine is to make sure to thank someone who least expects it and so often feels invisible—say the cleaner in a public bathroom (like at the airport). The look of grateful surprise on their face is enough to make my day. Same with thanking the postal carrier, a customer rep, even your child. Nothing beats giving that tiniest bit of Holiday joy to all.

Besides, who knows? It may become a habit, and what better way to celebrate the Season?

Thank you all for reading “A Note From Dr. Noelle” and Happy Holidays!!