Get Yourself Back on Track!

 

Phyllis Diller, the famous American stand-up comedian, had a powerful practice I’ve used successfully for many years. Her advice? “My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”

It’s wonderful and effective. Try it sometime. Meanwhile, it recently occurred to me that her recipe could easily be adapted to other situations in our contemporary lives where we get off track from our original pursuit of success, joy, enlightenment—or whatever we’ve been exploring.

For example, social media. A blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it allows us to benefit from information we’d otherwise miss out on. A curse in that some of it is legit, some of it is not, and, most importantly, it’s an easy rabbit-hole to go charging down at the expense of what we are supposed to be doing, like living our own lives.

What if you set a social media timer (mental or actual) for 10 minutes? Allow yourself 10 minutes of fun playing with social media, then stop. Yes, click off the site you were busily investigating, and get back on track with what you were doing beforehand. Why 10 minutes? That’s about enough time to peruse something interesting without getting so involved it would take a direct bolt from on High for you to pry yourself away. Twenty minutes is great for anger release, but a bit much for social media release.

Disciplining yourself in such a manner allows you the benefit of social media, the “blessing,” as it were, without getting caught in the “curse” of it. And that, indeed, is fun!

Are You Listening Competitively? Or Listening to Learn? Episode 142, Season 6

Why is it that when you’ve just offered a perfectly decent opinion that just happens to disagree with your friend or partner’s opinion, the conversation goes south? Do you have to permanently agree with them to have a decent relationship? Good question!

In this podcast, walk away with a simple but powerful shift in how you show up in conversations — one that lets you hold your own perspective while honoring theirs, turning disagreement into dialogue and conflict into connection.

Check out this latest episode!

Use Your Mind to Combat Killer Stress! Episode 141, Season 6

Is your job making you physically sick? Dreaded boss. Soul-crushing workday. Coworkers who drive you up the wall. If you're stressed 24/7 and running on empty — this one's for you. In Episode 141, we dig into the mind-body connection and show you how to stop being a victim of your circumstances and start using your own mind to fight back. 

Check out this latest episode!

The Magic of "I Think I Can"

 

The very first time I was invited to give a speech in my capacity as a trial consultant, to a large and very impressive (gulp!) group of lawyers, I was so terrified, die-hard introvert that I am, that I couldn't lift my eyes off the totally scripted pages of my speech. As I waited for my turn to speak, what kept going through my mind was a saying I learned as a toddler: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can," which, oddly enough, soothed me such that even though my eyes never connected with my audience, I made it through the ordeal. And like the little engine that could, I ended my day with "I can!"

For those of you who didn't have the benefit of the early children's classic, "The Little Engine That Could," it is where that saying comes from. I can't count how many times, to this day, the mantra of "I think I can" has pulled me through challenges both feared and hoped for. And it can do the same for you.

Like that promotion you want but can't summon the courage to ask for. Or that special someone you want to connect with, but are afraid to approach. Or that new hobby you want to try, but doubt you'll be any good at. As the marvelously successful Henry Ford once said: "If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right."

What positively damning words! We are truly our own worst enemies. Most of the time, that thing, whatever it is, that we don't think we can do or be or have, could be ours, in some fashion, some way, if we but go for it. Yet we stop ourselves from thinking that we can't be, do, or have whatever it is--so we never try.

How very sad.

Life is for the living of it! "I think I can" goes a long way toward supporting us in whatever might thrill us. Try it. You might surprise yourself. I know I did!

(Photo--Text: Watty Piper, Illustrations: Lois Lenski - Print Magazine)

How to Get Heard, Episode 140, Season 6

Why can’t you get heard? Why, no matter how loudly, angrily or with tears you speak your distress, your partner stands there like a stone? In this podcast, you’ll find out how to use your body language to help ease the way into more fruitful discussions without all that drama.

 

Check out this latest episode!

“The Lion King” and “Aladdin” Get the Best of a LaGuardia Situation Episode 139, Season 6

There’s nothing as powerful as a switch in focus. In this podcast, you’ll learn from a surprising source how to help you turn an unanticipated negative situation to your advantage. 

 

Check out this latest episode!

The Amazing Power of Scent

 

I recently tried a new hair product that promised to “tame those pesky fly-aways,” and since it was reasonably priced, I thought it was worth a try. It didn’t tame much of anything, but gosh, it smelled delightful. I said to my BFF, “Smell my hair. Isn’t that great?” She sniffed and said, “It’s OK, I guess. So where do you want to go for lunch?

Oh. And then I remembered: scent isn’t the same for everyone. What smells wonderful to one person can smell just sort of all right to another, and vice versa. What smells awful to one may just be “not so bad” to another.

The hair product makes me smile every time I catch a whiff of it. That, frankly, is what is important about scent. Our emotional response to it is the basis of aromatherapy. Scents are known to directly access the brain, which in turn releases various hormones that can help support our well-being and alleviate stress. Our reaction to scent is ingrained, automatic, yet often specific to each individual. Sure, some smells are repugnant to all of us, but the degree to which we are offended or bothered by them is different for different people.

We can use our individual reaction to scent deliberately, to evoke a desired emotional response. The easiest way to find out what might work for you is to go to an aromatherapy store (no, you can’t do this on Amazon), take a deep breath as you sniff a particular scent, and see if it brings a smile to your face. If so, great, you’ve found a scent that awakens pleasing sensations for you. If not, simply move on to a different aroma. The deep breath matters, as the scent needs to get carried into your brain, so to speak, and breath facilitates that.

Then what? What do you do with that little bottle of lavender, let’s say, tucked in your pocket?

For example, you’re having a rough day at work. Your boss is being a jerk, your colleagues are worse, and you feel trapped in a job you dislike more each day. Will taking a whiff of lavender fix your work issues? Make your boss or colleagues treat you better? Your work easier? Nope. However, taking a few deep breaths of a scent that pleases you can relax your nervous system, calm your mind, and soothe you just enough for you to consider an alternative solution to whatever is bothering you. If you allow it to. That is the bottom line. You have to allow a scent to work for you, otherwise, well, it’s useless.

Sometimes, just a moment of scent-based soothing truly is enough. Try it! There’s much to gain, and nothing to lose.