I recently had the opportunity to contribute to a Real Simple article, “6 Signs You’re on Track to Live to 100, According to Longevity Experts.”
Sometimes, the secret to living a long, happy life has more to do with factors beyond just diet and exercise.
Here’s the article:
Phyllis Diller, the famous American stand-up comedian, had a powerful practice I’ve used successfully for many years. Her advice? “My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”
It’s wonderful and effective. Try it sometime. Meanwhile, it recently occurred to me that her recipe could easily be adapted to other situations in our contemporary lives where we get off track from our original pursuit of success, joy, enlightenment—or whatever we’ve been exploring.
For example, social media. A blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it allows us to benefit from information we’d otherwise miss out on. A curse in that some of it is legit, some of it is not, and, most importantly, it’s an easy rabbit-hole to go charging down at the expense of what we are supposed to be doing, like living our own lives.
What if you set a social media timer (mental or actual) for 10 minutes? Allow yourself 10 minutes of fun playing with social media, then stop. Yes, click off the site you were busily investigating, and get back on track with what you were doing beforehand. Why 10 minutes? That’s about enough time to peruse something interesting without getting so involved it would take a direct bolt from on High for you to pry yourself away. Twenty minutes is great for anger release, but a bit much for social media release.
Disciplining yourself in such a manner allows you the benefit
of social media, the “blessing,” as it were, without getting caught in the
“curse” of it. And that, indeed, is fun!
Why is it that when you’ve just offered a perfectly decent opinion that just happens to disagree with your friend or partner’s opinion, the conversation goes south? Do you have to permanently agree with them to have a decent relationship? Good question!
In this podcast, walk away with a simple but powerful shift in how you show up in conversations — one that lets you hold your own perspective while honoring theirs, turning disagreement into dialogue and conflict into connection.
Is your job making you physically sick? Dreaded boss. Soul-crushing workday. Coworkers who drive you up the wall. If you're stressed 24/7 and running on empty — this one's for you. In Episode 141, we dig into the mind-body connection and show you how to stop being a victim of your circumstances and start using your own mind to fight back.
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The very first time I was invited to give a speech in my capacity as a trial consultant, to a large and very impressive (gulp!) group of lawyers, I was so terrified, die-hard introvert that I am, that I couldn't lift my eyes off the totally scripted pages of my speech. As I waited for my turn to speak, what kept going through my mind was a saying I learned as a toddler: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can," which, oddly enough, soothed me such that even though my eyes never connected with my audience, I made it through the ordeal. And like the little engine that could, I ended my day with "I can!"
For
those of you who didn't have the benefit of the early children's classic, "The
Little Engine That Could," it is where that saying
comes from. I can't count how many times, to this day, the mantra of "I
think I can" has pulled me through challenges both feared and hoped for.
And it can do the same for you.
Like
that promotion you want but can't summon the courage to ask for. Or that
special someone you want to connect with, but are afraid to approach. Or that
new hobby you want to try, but doubt you'll be any good at. As the marvelously
successful Henry Ford once said: "If you think you can, you can. And if
you think you can't, you're right."
What
positively damning words! We are truly our own worst enemies. Most of the time,
that thing, whatever it is, that we don't think we can do or be or have, could
be ours, in some fashion, some way, if we but go for it. Yet we stop ourselves from
thinking that we can't be, do, or have whatever it is--so we never try.
How
very sad.
Life
is for the living of it! "I think I can" goes a long way toward
supporting us in whatever might thrill us. Try it. You might surprise yourself.
I know I did!
Why can’t you get heard? Why, no matter how loudly, angrily or with tears you speak your distress, your partner stands there like a stone? In this podcast, you’ll find out how to use your body language to help ease the way into more fruitful discussions without all that drama.
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the fo...
