Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Focus On The Full Experience: You’ll Get There Faster!

 


We rarely enjoy change, even when we want that change. We will usually find any excuse we can to avoid the necessary steps to whatever that change may be.

For example, given that it is light so much earlier in the day, I’ve been attempting to get up earlier lately. Sigh. For me, getting up earlier is just not fun. Oh, it’s not about getting enough sleep, I do that just fine, it’s more that it’s so nice and snuggly under the covers, I’m not remotely motivated to emerge from all that comfort. But what does motivates me and gets me out from under the covers is when I think of what I would experience in doing so: having more creative time in my day, given that mornings are when I am at my creative best.

Thinking about the full experience that we seek with whatever our desired change is, rather than dwelling on the discomfort (mental or otherwise) of what it would take to make that change, is often what makes it much more doable. 

Let’s say you’re sick of your current job. In plain speak, it sucks. Hours are too long, you’re underpaid and overused, and your boss wouldn’t know how to say ‘thank you’ for your extra-mile efforts if it bit him . . .

But here’s the thing: when you think about what it would take to get a new job, a better job, you’re exhausted before you even take the first step. You’d have to figure out what you want to do (realistically, not your fantasy of instant celebrity-endorsement bucks). Then you have to figure out if you have the skill set for what you’ve decided you want to do. After that, there’s your resume to polish up. Oh, and guess what? Then you have to sort out where to submit that resume. Which of the online services? Or who do you know who’d be willing to give you an in? The list of what’s needed goes on and on, and so there you stay: underpaid, overused, and never thanked.

What if, instead, you focus on the full experience you’re aiming for, the end result? That better job in which you can shine and be appreciated for your efforts. Now you have something to aim for, something that can motivate you to take those many steps essential to getting there.


Tuesday, June 20, 2023

On Addiction, Episode 68

Addiction isn’t just something that afflicts other people and involves heavy drugs. Most of us have some form of addiction, even if it’s to seemingly benign activities – like working out obsessively or overworking that credit card or the remote. Those too often activities get in the way of our having the full and rewarding life we deserve. In this podcast you’ll discover how to engage the healthy, functioning parts of yourself to help you heal whatever addiction, major or minor, gets in your way, even if only occasionally.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

When Agendas Collide, Episode 67

Wouldn’t it be nice if your child/teenager did just what you needed them to do, right when you wanted them to? YES! Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case, and most often you find yourselves butting heads or in a screaming match. Sigh. . . However, there is a very different approach that will get your child/teenager on board with what you want and need. In this podcast you’ll explore in specifics just how you might be able to accomplish that.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp

 


Check out this latest episode!

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Let Purpose Get You Off the Hamster Wheel!

 


Some days it feels like life is one endless hamster wheel, where you go round and round and round in the same way day after day. You know the drill: chores-work-kids-chores-bed, rinse and repeat. Oh, sure, there’s the occasional crisis to change things up, maybe the occasional vacation or happy surprise, but mostly it’s chores-work-kids-chores-bed: what the French call “Metro, boulot, dodo” (metro, work, sleep).

BORING! As in depressing. As in why get up in the morning? There’s no seeming rhyme or reason to this continuous plod through life.

Ah but, there is. Really. All it takes is one simple question: “Why am I doing this?” For example, dog poop. My dogs are too big for me to walk, so I have a decent-sized yard, which is their agility center, play area, and (you guessed it) all-purpose bathroom--which they haven’t learned to clean up yet (you’d think . . .). So, I do it. Regularly. It’s boring. Tedious. Not the most fun thing on my list. But when I remember to ask myself “Why am I doing this?” my answer makes me happy. “Because I like a clean yard. The yard smells better and looks prettier. I can actually enjoy spending time in it. And I (or the dogs) don’t risk stepping in stinky stuff which then requires yucky clean-up.”

Now, I grant you, cleaning up after your dog isn’t nearly as thrilling as world peace or winning the lottery. However, most of our lives are about the mundane--losing/gaining weight, saving/earning money, dealing with kids/partners/co-workers and so on.

But here’s the thing. When you assign purpose to whatever it is you are engaged in, suddenly everything changes. It’s an energy shift that allows you to go from bored/depressed to interested, all the way to happy. Purpose. So if losing/gaining weight is fueled by the purpose of getting healthier, it’s less of a task and more of an adventure. Same with saving/earning money. Once there’s a purpose attached, such as a family vacation or getting out of your teeny apartment into an actual house, you’ve got a dream to pull you forward through the mechanics of saving/earning rather than getting stuck in the dreary got-to-dos of it all.

It doesn’t matter what you must do in your day to day. What matters is how you approach it. Asking yourself regularly, “Why am I doing this?” until you come up with a response that lights you up.

Purpose rocks! And so will you.

Photo attribution: By Doenertier82, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=642841