Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Who Will You Choose to Be In 2023?

 


The great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. The not-so-great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. Which we often abandon within a month or so. We then feel guilty or bad about ourselves for not being able to stick with whatever it was.

But what if you took a different tack? What if, instead of – or in addition to – your usual New Year’s resolutions, you took a look at what of yourself you are bringing to this party called 2023? Not focusing so much on what you intend to do, rather on what you intend to do it with?

Namely, you. How about your best self, the best of you? The courageous, forward-thinking, hopeful, enthusiastic you? Instead of the worried, fearful, anxious, doubting you. Which, by the way, is the you that stops you from fully accomplishing those New Year action-oriented intentions, like losing weight, making it to the gym regularly, going for that promotion, saving enough for that new pre-owned car, and so on.

Make a list of your best characteristics. The ones you’d like to bring to your endeavor, such as hopefulness, confidence, curiosity, willingness, eagerness and positivity. Do the very best you can to line yourself up with any one or more of these aspects of yourself before you set out to accomplish your action-oriented intention of the day. Now you can meet whatever you are engaging in with your best self, your heroic self (yes, you have one), the self that will make you proud.

Then, this may very well be the year when you keep those New Year’s resolutions beyond month one, month two – who knows, maybe for the whole of 2023!

Happy New Year!

 


Tuesday, December 20, 2022

On Choosing Enthusiasm, Episode 56

What you bring to life is what you get from it. No, that’s not just a cute platitude, it’s real. As in, you really do get what you give. But how? How exactly do you go about giving to life, your life, what you want from it? Good question! In this podcast, you’ll find possible answers to that very question, so that you can live a life you genuinely enjoy. And watch some of your dreams actually come true. Indeed!


Check out this latest episode!

Friday, December 9, 2022

The Choice For Love, Episode 59

Love. Everyone wants it, in every aspect of their lives, from self-love to love of others, to love of how we are and what we do in the world. Too often, though, we are run by fear, not love. Our lives cease to be satisfying, and we are too often downhearted and unhappy. Yet there is a way to deal with fear such that love, in its most expansive meaning, fills our lives. In this podcast, you’ll explore how you might be able to accomplish that.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Enabling v Helping, Episode 55

Have you ever been caught between wanting to help a loved one, but worried that in your attempt to help, you’re just furthering their dysfunction? You’re not alone! It’s a dilemma faced by many of us who care about our nears and dears. Yet there is a way through the dilemma that does not involve abandoning your loved one, but rather supporting them in their healing. In this podcast you’ll explore how you might be able to accomplish that.

 


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Flip Holiday Stress Into Fun for You!

 

It seems the topic uppermost in so many of our minds at this time of year is stress. AKA Holiday stress. Too many gifts to buy, too little money. Too many cards to send out/email, gifts to wrap, people to visit – too little time. Too many relatives and others to be considerate of –

too little patience. Too little of you to go around. You are spread too thin in too many ways, which means the Holidays are anything but. 

Time for a flip. Yup. Time to flip your internal switch from overwhelmed to relaxed. OK, so maybe not all the way to relaxed, but how about to “doable”? To “manageable”? To where you can actually enjoy the Holidays instead of resenting them. Even if you can’t afford a personal shopper/package wrapper/etc. to take over all that has you running ragged.

Flip your switch. Take a moment to sit, breathe, and ask yourself: “What’s right with this picture?” How about the fact that you actually have friends and family to give gifts to? Many do not. You may loathe the office Holiday party, but guess what – you have a job. Many do not. You are positively grinching (pun intended) at having your relatives invade your home for the expected Holiday meal, with all the cooking/cleaning/decorating the event entails, but heck, you have a home. Many do not.

Secondly, ask yourself: “What’s right with me?” Ah yes. Because at the moment you are probably feeling inept, incompetent, and woefully insecure. None of which are who you truly are. If you’ve made it this far in life, you’ve had plenty of moments where you’ve been competent and on top of things. You can do this. All it takes is reminding yourself of your various successes, small and large. Taking another deep breath. Getting creative with whatever your Holiday duties are. Deliberately making the Holidays fun for YOU!

Gifts don’t have to cost lots of money. It truly is the thought that counts. You don’t have to stay for hours on end at the office party. You can spend a gracious half-hour or so there with a smile on your face and take a quiet unobtrusive departure. Holiday meals are as simple or as complicated as you choose to make them. Heck, what about a potluck adventure for a change?

Flip the switch. Refuse to let Holiday stress get the best of you, and instead, find the best FOR you in this Holiday Season.

 


Tuesday, November 15, 2022

A Matter of Focus, Episode 54

It is said that whatever you focus on, grows. Great. Except when you find yourself focusing on yucky hurtful things, which just seem to magnify the misery in your life. How can you use the enormous power of focus, or concentrated energy, to work for you, rather than against you?

What tools can you use to keep from dumping into either a miserable victim or angry ranter? In this podcast, you’ll learn an easy three-step process to use focus for your success and happiness!


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

The Magic of The 5:1 Ratio

 


I’m sitting on the floor in my office, cell in hand, eye-balling the Internet router refusing to connect to the Internet, while the Frontier tech troubleshoots the problem. Which occurred because our neighborhood had a power outage, now resolved. Why one has to endure the misery of Internet disconnection on top of a power outage, I have no idea, but such is the reality of our interconnected world . . .

I’m not happy. Duh. I have a full workload and no time to deal with all this. As I sit there, fussing and fuming, I remember the magic 5:1 ratio. Namely, everything works better when you balance your one negative thought with five positive thoughts*. Deep breath. I release the pity party, and off I go. I can actually speak with a live tech, yay! I still have cell service, yay! I can call my next appointment for directions, yay! The power is on, yay! I have plenty of work I can do offline, yuck – sorry, yay!

Then I remember, “Thanksgiving.” Right! The season of gratitude. What better time to implement the 5:1 ratio with more than my current Internet woes? Like to notice everything I love about my home, about my puppies, about my work, about my clients, about my friends, my Church, my neighborhood? And on and on. Do I have complaints about all sorts of things? Yes, don’t we all. But somehow, as I find at least five things to appreciate about everything in my life, from the mundane (easy bathroom cleaning) to the sublime (my relationship to Spirit), those complaints are irrelevant. Just bits to clean up, handle, resolve, but nothing to waste my precious life energy on.

Thanksgiving! What a wonderful, inspiring time of year. May yours be filled with joy and multitudinous reasons for – gratitude!

*For the origin of the ratio, see Dr. Gottman’s work


Approval v. Love, Episode 53

Why is it you can never seem to find the love you seek? That special relationship that would fill you with such joy. What’s wrong with you? Nothing! What’s wrong is how you’re going about seeking love, namely confusing someone’s approval of you with loving you. In this podcast, you’ll discover the profound difference between approval with love and some ways to get to that love you so ardently desire.


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Whose Life Is It Anyway?, Episode 52

Do you ever feel like your life isn’t in your control? Like you’re living what everyone else wants you to and you’re not happy, and you don’t know what to do about it? What a painful unfortunate way to spend your days! Well, you don’t need to put up with it anymore. In this podcast, you’ll discover ways to live the life you want to live, without having to run off to a desert island or turn into a hermit . . .


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

The Power of Mental Rehearsal, Episode 51

Olympic athletes use it, successful performers use it – guess what? You can use it too! When you have to have that conversation you dread, make that presentation for the first time, face that person you’re in awe or fear of, you too can use mental rehearsal to position yourself in the best possible place for success. In this podcast, you’ll learn the mental rehearsal techniques that will help you turn any challenge to your advantage. Indeed!


Check out this latest episode!

Thursday, September 29, 2022

You’re Wrong!

 


Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. We all believe, in our hearts of hearts, that we are right, no matter how logically misguided we may be. So why do we so often voice an objection to something our partner, friend or co-worker says with an immediate: “You’re wrong!” Often followed up by, “So wrong.” And then wonder why they turn away in disgust or dismay, or launch into defensive mode that quickly degenerates into an argument.

But what if, rather than assume they are wrong, because they said something you disagree with or just don’t like, what if you took a pause, a beat, and considered what might be right about what they just said? An appalling thought, yes I know, but one that can lead to constructive communication rather than destructive name-calling and whatever else.

For example, to say, in a neutral, non-defensive, non-sarcastic tone: “Huh. You make a good point there. I hadn’t thought about it that way. Tell me more.” “Tell me more” has to be one of the most powerful anti-argument devices ever. You’re not fighting. You’re seeking clarification. Understanding. And if we all resent being told we are wrong, we all appreciate those who seek to understand us.

To be able to summon up the courage to say “good point” and follow it up with “tell me more,” is truly drawing on your inner hero/heroine. Because it takes guts, real guts, to be willing to listen to a point of view other than your own. Not that you have to adopt that view, but when you invite clarification and genuinely seek understanding, chances are good that you will find some basis for agreement, or at the very least, cooperation.

Which is a lot more productive, and in the end, more fun, than a blatant “You’re wrong!”


Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Where’s The Horse? Episode 50

How can you make sense of the pile of manure you’ve just dumped into? The upset or disaster you didn’t anticipate but is now making a mess of your life? Good question! In this podcast, you’ll explore some of how you turn that pile of manure into something positive and valuable for your life (and it isn’t fertilizer!).


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, September 6, 2022

Winner In The Making, Episode 49

Is it ever just all too much? That the marriage or job or friendship you counted on to last forever falls apart? Or some dreaded disease afflicts your beloved child and all you can do is rant and rave? Rather than turning into a perpetually miserable victim or anger finger-pointer, discover in this podcast a far more effective and soul-restoring process!

 

 

 


Check out this latest episode!

Thursday, September 1, 2022

A Simple Way to Increase Your Happiness

 





As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the food, the few waiters, and how long it took to get their order. Meanwhile, the other person was saying: “Gosh, I don’t know. I liked the variety of the menu and the friendliness of the service. I didn’t pay attention to much of anything else.”

Dang. Talk about a difference in perspective! It occurred to me that perspective is really what often makes the same experience fun for one person, and miserable for another. It all depends on what you choose to focus on. And what you choose to ignore.

Choose is the operative word. There is no doubt that there is always enough going on in each of our worlds to find something to complain about or something to appreciate. My personal solution to getting caught in unexpected traffic, for example, is one of two “appreciations.” Either I crank up the music I’m listening to, or I look with admiration at the trees and bushes that persist in growing at the side of the freeway regardless of that day’s air quality. I am deliberately choosing to ignore how annoying the unexpected traffic is. Because otherwise, I’ll arrive at my appointment out of sorts, cranky, and inflict my orneriness on nice people who don’t deserve it.

Yes, stuff happens. Yes, your boss may be a pill, but there are no doubt some aspects of your job you can enjoy if you just let yourself. You don’t need to focus on the awfulness of your boss all the time. Give yourself a happiness break, i.e., change your focus if only for a few minutes.

Of course, there are nasty life circumstances that require our full attention and which we cannot, and should not, ignore. But these are not what constitute the majority of our time. And even within nasty life circumstances, one can choose to focus on the parts of the experience that lean into the good, rather than only observing that which is bad. This is how 7-year-old Talaya Crawford, daughter of pro boxer, Terence "Bud" Crawford, won a 200-meter sprint at her school. Talaya lost a shoe at the start of the sprint, which by any athlete’s definition is “nasty.” How can you possibly race with only one shoe? If Talaya had chosen to focus on the lost shoe, she could easily have given up. Plopped down right there on the course. But no! Talaya chose to focus on her gumption, her “not gonna quit” belief in her abilities, and ran her way to victory.

It doesn’t matter if it’s an athletic feat, getting through your work day, or having lunch out. What you choose to focus on during the experience is what will determine how happy – or not – you are. The more you choose to focus on what brings you joy, and the less emphasis you put on the parts you don’t like, the happier you will be.

 


Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Silence Is Not Always Golden, Episode 48

Why can’t you get heard? Why, no matter how loudly, angrily or with tears abounding you speak your distress, your partner stands there like a stone? Aargh! In this podcast, you’ll find out how to express your unhappiness in a way that your partner can hear you and respond. Hopefully appropriately! Oh, the sweet relief. . .


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

How Judgment Hurts You, Episode 47

You can’t help yourself. When “stuff” hits the fan, you go down that rabbit-hole of dread and despair so fast, it not only hurts, it hurts bad! But what if there was a way to avoid the rabbit-hole altogether? In this podcast, you’ll learn a surprising technique that will help you turn any “stuff” to your advantage. Yes!


Check out this latest episode!

Sunday, July 31, 2022

It’s All About ‘Tude

Dr. Joshua Miele

I was having a pity party the day before a Ballroom Dance Competition. It was hot, I was tired, my legs were sore, we hadn’t rehearsed enough, I’d never remember all my steps, and on and on. I was being such a grump even my dogs were avoiding me. Fine. I can take a hint.

I settled on the couch and looked through some good-feel websites, hoping to get myself in a better place. I did more than that. I found a sensational source of positive inspiration, in the person of Dr. Joshua Miele, who at all of four years old, was burned and blinded by acid in a most unfortunate event, yet went on to create an extraordinary life for himself – and others. Dr. Miele has devoted his career to inventing ways for vision-impaired and other disabled people to navigate through life without bumping into obstacles and facing innumerable issues in the course of their day-to-day. Now, at 53, married with children, Dr. Miele is a Principal Accessibility Researcher with Amazon! He is charged with developing ways to make Amazon’s many products accessible to all, a job he relishes.

So much for my pity party! Dr. Miele speaks of never having considered himself a victim. He doesn’t think of himself as a walking tragedy, either. Just as someone who has had something happen that needed to be dealt with. His attitude is what fueled his desire to achieve a happy and successful life and by doing that he can help others do the same.

Attitude! It truly is what makes the difference. It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond to it that determines how any given event impacts our lives. Dr. Miele’s story reminded me once again, how much more important it is for us to mind our response than it is to moan and groan over the whatever. It’s irrelevant whether the event was traumatic or – like my pre-competition whining – simply annoying, our willingness to adopt a forward-looking, solution-oriented attitude can make all the difference between finding happiness versus dwelling in misery.  

I got myself up off that couch, strapped on my dancing shoes, and practiced my routines for the umpteenth time, only now with renewed hope and enthusiasm. With a panting audience of two happy dogs once again in attendance.

 

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

What’s Wrong With Me? Episode 45

Do you ever feel that you can’t do anything right? That you can’t get things to go your way no matter how hard you try? Rather than deciding something must be wrong with you – or with whoever’s not being helpful - discover in this podcast a different, far more powerful and empowering (!) approach!


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Give Yourself a “PaRx”!

 


Amid the pandemic, when we were for the most part quarantined, urged to remain indoors as much as possible, I had an overwhelming urge to get out into nature. Living as I do in Southern California, I figured I could go find a beach and stare at the ocean for a bit without breaking any quarantine regulations.

I loaded the dogs into the car, and off we went. I found a nice stretch of deserted beach and walked myself and my pups down as close to the ocean as we could without getting wet. The fact that it was a cold gloomy overcast day didn’t bother me at all. I breathed in the salt air, the enormity of sea and sky until I felt full of nature’s bounty. Packed the dogs back in the car, and drove home feeling relieved and serene.

Little did I know that I’d just given myself a “PaRx” – a nature prescription – as increasing numbers of Canadian physicians have been giving to their anxious and depressed patients. The healing properties of a couple of hours per week in nature are amazing. It benefits young and old, rich and poor, healthy and not-so-healthy. Research shows that spending time in nature is good for pretty much anything that ails you. Parks, beaches, forests – your choice. Nature is healing in all her forms.

But what if you haven’t the time or access to a park/beach/forest? There’s an alternative: indoor plants. Yes indeed, studies show that spending time with houseplants also has many health benefits. Real plants (not plastic, sorry) can reduce stress, sharpen attention, provide cleaner air, boost productivity, and facilitate healing, to name but some of the benefits. What a gift.

So whether you indulge in that glorious weekly two hours outdoors, or simply spend time tending and enjoying your couple of perky houseplants, go for it! You’ve nothing to lose, and lots of benefits to gain.

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

What Now, Why Me?, Episode 44

Why does it seem like just when life is going along so nicely, something pulls the rug from under you? Like losing your job, relationship, car? Why can’t things just stay steady on course? Like forever? In this podcast, you’ll find out how to deal with some of the ordinary inevitable losses of life so you can open up to the new and better yet to come.

 

 


Check out this latest episode!

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” - Richard Wilkins

 

A dear friend was lamenting the state of the world these days, and indeed, the wars, shootings, political and legal wrangles are disturbing to those who want peace and prosperity for all. In addition to the natural disasters which seem constant: fires, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes.

And yet, and yet . . . For every negative media blast there is somewhere on the planet a positive situation or event. An Uber driver sacrificing his day’s work (which he dearly needed) to help a stranger who’d been robbed at California’s Coachella music festival find her phone and a way home. That same stranger turning around and creating a GoFundMe to help the driver with his daughter’s cancer treatment bills, to the tune of over a hundred thousand dollars.

A person just passing by saw that a dog had fallen into bone-chilling water in a frozen lake in NY’s Central Park, and that the dog’s owner was having no luck getting the dog out. The good Samaritan gave it a go, tumbled into the water himself, yet managed to get both dog and himself out of the lake safe and sound. In Costa Rica, police stopped traffic to allow a sloth to cross a busy road – sloooowly, at a distinguished sloth pace.

I could go on and on. Good stuff happens every day in our world, in every corner of the world. The bad stuff grabs our attention, but you don’t have to park your attention there and camp out. If you feel called to action, great! You may decide to protest, petition or pray, whatever works for you. The important thing is that you also turn your attention to the good stuff.

That you pay attention to your dreams. Whether those dreams are for yourself, your family, your community, or our world matters not. What matters, as the quote states, is that you give at least as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears. Because only as we move in the direction of our dreams, both in thought and action, can those dreams come to pass.

And then, yes, miracles can start to happen!

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Monday, May 2, 2022

Finding Happiness, Living Your Joy

 


So often, it seems like the world presses against us, day in day out. Work duties, family obligations, endless chores, finances, on and on. Who has time for anything as frivolous as deliberately “finding happiness”? Much less “living your joy.” Like, when? How? And why would it even matter when getting through the day in one piece seems like “joy” enough.

It matters. A lot. The science is unequivocal: happy people are healthier. Happy people cope with stress better. People who cope with stress better are more successful – mostly because their energies are less bound up in anxiety and fear. Plus, happy just feels good. Look at any toddler running around. They have a singular objective; to be as happy as possible. They don’t care what you think of it, the mess they may create, or how their bouncy, quirky selves annoy others. They are happy, and that’s reason enough for them to do whatever they are doing.

You groan. OK, fine, but what if happiness for you means traveling? To far distant lands, for example, which costs more money than you can afford, and means time off work/family/etc. which you can’t get.

Easy peasy. Use your creative brain (yes, you have one, everyone does) to come up with a way to satisfy – to some degree – your travel urge without costing you beaucoup bucks in time or money. A friend of mine, whose passionate longing to visit Japan has been squelched by work, finances, family and COVID, came up with a unique solution: he and his partner visited their town’s local “Japan town” and spent an afternoon there. They soaked up the different architecture, visited the stores with their Japanese goods, ate at a Japanese restaurant, relished the different language spoken all around them – and went home, guess what? Happy!

Did this replace my friend’s desire to visit Japan? No. But it did give him a wonderful few hours of quasi-immersion in the Japanese culture. It gave him some happiness, while he saves dollars for when the time to actually go to Japan becomes available.

Your happiness might be to become a best-selling author. Great! “But who has the time to write?” you ask. You. You have an hour, somewhere in your week, that you can devote to writing. Maybe even an hour twice a week. You can master the “4 pages a week” writing goal that another friend of mine used to eventually complete her first novel.

It really doesn’t matter what brings you happiness, you can find a way to do some portion of it, to experience the whatever it is, in some small measure, until the circumstances of your life allow you to indulge in a bigger way.

That’s what “finding happiness” is all about. “Living your joy” is the natural consequence of the deliberate cultivation, bit by bit, of what makes you happy.

Go for it! Heck, if the average toddler has nailed this, so can you.

 

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

The Pull of The Familiar, Episode 40

Why is it that sometimes in the best of times, you feel anxious? Like the other shoe is going to drop any minute, and sure enough, something comes along to bump you out of your happiness bubble. How unfortunate! Especially since it doesn’t need to be this way. In this podcast you’ll learn how to keep that happiness going – on and on and on! Cause, why not? You certainly deserve it.


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

The Trap of Comparison, Episode 39

It’s tempting to compare yourself to others, you know, those slimmer-richer-happier-more successful others, yet whenever you do, you end up feeling awful about yourself. Lower than an earthworm, undeserving, miserable. That’s not a way to live! And certainly not a way to achieve your unique goals. In this podcast you’ll discover how to get past the trap of comparison and actually use comparison to your advantage. Yay!


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Everyone Has A Superpower – What’s Yours?

 

The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound is hardly useful these days, given the wonders of CGI. And yes, invisibility might still be useful, but what if you forgot how to be visible again? Far better is to look inward for your superpower, not outward! To your truth, to what serves your life best, not to what others may think (or not think!) of it.

Mine is diligence. Dog with a bone. Tenacity. A commitment to doing the best I can, with what I’ve got, from where I am, and refusing to give up, give in or give out until I’ve accomplished that. To an outside eye, it may look like no big deal. Who cares if I don’t smile at the barista? I do. Even if I feel yucky, I do my best to smile at those I encounter. Or to others, it may look like a big deal. Like getting a book published. Or winning at ballroom dance competitions. To me, the superpower engaged is the same. What I chose to commit to, I commit to full-on. Smiles, books, awards, whatever.

Why does a superpower matter? Because if you know what yours is, you can rely on it, you can summon it up, you can count on it when all else fails you. When I’m confronted with what looks to me like an impossible task, I dig in. I ignore my inner committee’s “You can’t do that! Who do you think you are?! You’re too old! Not smart enough! Not talented enough!” etc. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. But I always get further along than I was before when I remember to summon up my diligence. Be dog. Grab bone. Hang on.

My BFF’s superpower – well, one of many – is her ability to put things in perspective. For herself, of course, but also for those she loves. For example, when I’m freaking out about something, she’ll say, “Where do you think you’ll be with that in 3 months? In a year?” and I’ll calm down. My rational brain can once more function, and off I go, looking for that bone.

What’s yours? Kindness. Responsiveness. Courage. Resilience. Flexibility. Humor. The list is endless. What matters is that you discover the superpower that supports what you want in life. That you become aware of it, use it consciously, for your good and the good of others. Dang!

Now you are a real Marvel hero/heroine, in real life, where it really counts. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

The Truth, The Whole Truth, Episode 38

Why can some people express their disappointment, frustration or even anger with a loved one so easily, and yet confrontation is something that totally makes you cringe. You can’t go on like this, bottling up all your hurt and angry feelings, but what are you to do? Tune in to this podcast to find out a remarkably easy way to confront others appropriately and without cringing!


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

You Got This!

 

My morning was supposed to be devoted to writing a report for one of the trial attorneys I consult for. The work takes concentration and focus, as my conclusions influence how the case is developed. It’s important, it matters, I need to do it well. But “life” was having none of it . . .

The dogs barked at everything – leaves falling, squirrels romping, the neighbor’s construction project. My cell dinged repeatedly with texts that needed responses, emails marked “urgent” landed non-stop in my inbox, and I couldn’t locate a document I was sure I’d saved.

Might as well give up on the day. Clearly, nothing good was going to happen.

Then about 10 minutes into my self-indulgent pity party, I realized, “Wait a minute. I had a sucky morning. OK. It happens. There’s no need to let it ruin the rest of my day.” Whereupon I parked the dogs in the side yard where I wouldn’t hear their barking as loudly, turned off my text notifications, figured no one was going to die if I didn’t answer emails immediately (I’m not a heart surgeon!), took a deep breath, re-focused and dived back into my report-writing.

We do that, you know. I do that. We don’t work out one day, or one week, and figure we’re losers, will never get in shape, game over. We eat that doughnut, that pasta, that pizza one day and figure the diet is history. We assume that a miserable morning means a miserable day or even a miserable life. We really are our own worst enemies.

So next time you find yourself slamming the door shut on your day, your diet, your exercise plan, your whatever, because some one (or two or three) things went wrong, stop. Take a deep breath – or several, as many as needed – and give yourself a reality check. The only way that one (or two or three) things that went wrong can ruin the rest of your day, diet, exercise plan, or even life, is if you let it/them. Don’t. You’re worth more than that. You deserve better than that.

Re-focus. Re-coup. And boogie forward. You got this! 

The Power of Expectation, Episode 37

Does it ever feel like you’re in a really bad movie, where no matter what you do, you end up in a sucky relationship? Over and over and over again? To where you want to give up on relationships forever. Yet you know you really want a good relationship, so what now? In this podcast, you’ll discover what’s holding you back and how to handle it so you can have that blissful relationship you dream of.

 

 

 

 


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

The Power of Choice, Episode 36

You don’t think of yourself as an overly sensitive person, but heck! When people think your ideas are ridiculous or stupid or whatever, or when they don’t see the value of your work, your help, you get hurt or angry - sometimes both at the same time. Neither of which truly makes you feel better. There is a better way! In this podcast, you’ll learn the magic of choice, and how you can use it to restore your happiness and self-esteem.


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

The Power of ALL your Mind, Episode 35

Ever felt stuck, like you’re on a hamster wheel of never really getting ahead, whether it’s with finances, love, or just plain getting up in the world? Why is it that what you really really want always seems just out of reach? Are you that inept? No! In this podcast, find out how to get off that hamster wheel and into the land of “YAY!” in two easy steps.


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

The Force of Habit, Episode 34

Why is it you can’t seem to get any of your desired self-improvement goals going? Whether it’s losing weight, going to the gym, or getting to work on time, nothing you do seems to stick. Surely you’re not that bad a person! No, you’re not! You just haven’t discovered what this podcast offers, namely the secret of how to make your worthwhile self-improvement goals stick.  Tune in and find out!


Check out this latest episode!

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

The Fallacy of Control, Episode 33

Does it ever feel like your emotions are running the show? Like your anger, anxiety, depression have just taken over your whole being? How are you to get on with what needs to be done when you feel such overwhelming emotions? In this podcast, discover how you can deal with your emotions so they don’t take you hostage, so you can get on with your life the way you want to.


Check out this latest episode!