I have 2 dogs, both rescues. One of them is a German Shepherd mix, aka Baer, who had been tethered to a pole in a person’s yard with very little freedom of movement, for the first couple of years of his life. No big surprise, then, that once I adopted him, his great joy was to run around my yard with energy and gusto. He still does that, now at 13, but his legs don’t always cooperate. From time to time, Baer pulls a muscle and then hops around on 3 legs for a bit as he recovers.
Observing him, keeping a close watch to make sure nothing else is going on with him that would require vet care, I can’t help but notice that Baer never complains. He doesn’t bark in complaint at the rock that tripped him or at his doggie-brother who probably ran into him. He doesn’t whine, whimper, or otherwise express his displeasure at the current state of affairs. Baer simply adjusts his behavior to his current situation. He sleeps more, doesn’t run around quite as much, and only ups his activity level as his muscles heal.
Wish we were more like Baer! No matter what’s going on, complaining about it, blaming others or the state of the economy, the world, or the political situation of the day, isn’t going to solve/remedy our dilemma. It may feel better to blame and complain, certainly, but it doesn’t do any good. If anything, it keeps us focused on the negative, on the doom-and-gloom or 'poor-me' aspect, which hinders our ability to problem-solve creatively.
Successful people don’t do that. They have what’s called an “internal locus of control,” meaning that they believe they are in charge of what happens in their lives, and respond accordingly. Does that mean they – or we – are in charge of everything that happens in their lives? No! Of course, stuff happens that is outside of our control; however, we always have control over how we react to events and situations. It’s what separates those who are successful most of the time from those who are not, most of the time.
How do you plug into that “internal locus of control”? That willingness to react in a non-complaining, forward-looking, productive way to events and situations? Start with a 5-second recharge. Say what? Yes. First, take a deep breath (or 2 or 3, as needed), sit/stand up straight, think of something you are grateful for – it can be something as basic as “the sun came up” or “the earth is still turning on its axis”, it doesn’t matter what – and let that prime your pump for thinking of constructive ways to deal with your situation.
“I can do this” is always a
good follow-up to repeat to yourself as you tackle whatever it is. And yes, you
can.
