Happiness can be elusive. How can you be happy when you feel that you can’t do anything right? That all you ever get from your partner, child or boss is critical comments, no matter how hard you try? Rather than figuring life is just like that and it’ll never get better, discover in this podcast a different, far more powerful and empowering approach to happiness.
Photo Credit: Mike Lin, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Christopher Reeve
If ever someone was justified in describing what it takes to get through life’s most trying times, it’s surely Christopher Reeve, whose story of Superman success, accident-engendered paralysis, and a further story of creating a new and successful life for himself is well-known.
But what about you and me? Most of what we deal with in our lives is less dramatic, yet “stuff” happens to all of us. Stuff we must either rise above or sink below, and frankly, rise above seems a lot more appealing.
So what stands in the way? Why don’t we, like Reeve, find that strength to persevere? Why do we, too often, give up and simply announce, “Well, that’s life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” We decide we just aren’t good enough, smart enough, talented enough, whatever the “enough” is for you. We brand ourselves as a failure, and that’s that. Sigh.
But what if, bear with me here, what if it’s not about you? Sure, the “stuff” happened to you--the lost job, missed promotion, dependence on alcohol or drugs, miserable finances, partner leaving you, on and on--but that doesn’t mean you are a failure. It means you failed at something. There’s a world of difference between the two. If you failed at something, there’s always the possibility you might succeed at it eventually, or find something even more interesting to you to succeed at. Maybe not now, but sometime. With a different approach.
Ah, yes. Because that’s what generally is the problem—your current approach. If Reeve had insisted he could only be successful as an actor equipped with 4 functioning limbs, he’d never have had the life he created for himself after the accident. Instead, Reeve adopted a different approach. He used his knowledge of the acting world to become a successful director and to act in roles beyond action hero and more, using his paralysis as a plus, not a minus.
Any one of us can follow Reeve’s example. Step back from your issue, look upon it as a challenge to come up with a different approach, heck, 10 different approaches, and go for it. Persevere. Assume that you will find a more successful approach, something that allows you to go beyond your problem, or around it, under it, totally outside of it, so that you achieve success and happiness. Maybe with your original goal, maybe not. Maybe with something entirely different you would never even have considered, but for this supposed “failure.”
You are not a failure. Never were. But your approach? There are a
multitude of different approaches to any difficult situation. One of them, if
not many, will work for you. Just think of Reeve and--rock on!
Ever wonder why some conversations get stuck before they’ve even really gotten started? Why do you get into fights rather than getting things sorted out? Learn how to unblock discussions so you can have meaningful conversations that actually get somewhere instead of ending in a fight. In this podcast, you’ll discover a powerful yet easy way to do just that.
How do you prevent your attention from always being diverted to stuff you don’t like, don’t want, and never asked for? Why does all this clutter get in the way of you having the good life you deserve? How can you free yourself from the negative? In this podcast, you’ll discover an easy way to shift your focus so you can experience what is truly yours to enjoy.
You are careful, right? Careful with what you eat and drink, which one might think of as your nutritional diet or guidelines. You care about how your body feels and functions, and you know that what you put into it matters. So, you pay attention. Most of the time, anyway, the occasional weekend lapses don’t count. After all, you’re human.
But what about your information diet*? What are the guidelines you follow to make sure that the information you process is beneficial to your mind? Your heart? Your very being? Diving headlong into social media, consuming anything and everything that pops up on your screen isn’t necessarily (or even ever) a wise choice.
You know what I’m talking about. You’re innocently scrolling through Facebook and the next thing you know, you are both fascinated and horrified by the weird things people do to their bodies, mates, pets, which gets you sucked into yet another terrifying story, and then another--you get the idea. It’s curiosity gone wild, which leaves you frozen in fear or frantic with anxiety. Not a pretty sight.
Not that Facebook or any other feed is a bad thing, far from it. You’ve just abdicated your power of choice to the algorithms that run the internet: “You interested in this? Here’s more!” When all you probably wanted to do was alleviate your temporary boredom.
Reinstate your power of choice. Be the one who determines which feeds you’re interested in, how much of each provides entertainment, useful information or relief, even when you want to indulge. Not some algorithm. It’s not always easy, however.
Deciding that you’re going to eat so many grams of protein a day, a certain amount of veggies and carbs, doesn’t mean it’s easy to follow through on your plan. It takes self-discipline, true, but aren’t the results worth it? When you step on that scale and realize 5 pounds magically (yeah, right) disappeared?
You get it. Just as with a nutritional diet, your information diet takes fortitude and willpower. Reinforce what you want in your feeds and what you want to consume. Don’t just chomp away at whatever, whenever. Remember, it’s up to you to choose.
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*A term a dear friend, Steve Cooper, shared with me recently.
Why is it so difficult for people to receive your support? Why do people – friends and others – insist on arguing with you, when you know what you’re offering is really good for them? What’s with the “Yeah, but” argument? In this podcast, you’ll find out just what the “Yeah, but” syndrome is all about, turn it into a positive and give people the opportunity to really hear what you have to say.
Does your partner’s refusal to accept your heartfelt apology totally irritate you? Especially when whatever they were so offended by wasn’t all your fault? How can you have a positive relationship without being perfect? In this podcast, receive helpful tips to master the magic of a complete apology, no groveling required, that your partner will accept.
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the fo...
