Your boss is the worst of the worst. Makes you feel lower than an earthworm, undeserving, miserable. That’s not a way to live. And certainly not a way to achieve your career goals. In this podcast you’ll discover what makes your boss so horrible, and how to use their secret fears and desires to pave your way to success.
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
But, no. The best holiday gift you could ever give or receive is simply to know, acknowledge, and appreciate that everyone is always doing the best they can, with what they have, from where they are. Including yourself.
Really? Yes. Because whatever someone is doing, whether you like it or not, is the best they can manage, considering their mental, emotional, physical and financial resources, and their competence and confidence in using those resources.
The overworked cashier who snapped at you, when you just wanted to run back and get that one more item, really is doing their best, given their fatigue dealing with harried customers and less-than-helpful co-workers, their personal family issues and that nagging feeling that their paycheck just isn’t going to go far enough this month.
The holidays stress people out more than any other time of year. The season of “Peace on Earth, Good Will to All” is rarely peaceful, and goodwill is scarce. Not that we’re bad people, deliberately slighting, ignoring or otherwise being mean or disrespectful to others.
It’s because we’re ridiculously busy trying to fulfill all the holiday obligations no single human could possibly fulfill to the satisfaction of all concerned. Between the gift buying for which we never have enough ready cash, the festivities to arrange and provide for, the decorating, the obligatory family get-togethers – well, you know the rest.
We are all, truly, doing the best we can with what we have from where we are at the moment. Just recognizing that will ease your stress. Not eradicate it, but smooth it out, making things more doable, more tolerable.
Your mother-in-law really isn’t trying to make your life miserable. She just thinks her holiday feast menu is the superior choice, and she expects you to adopt it (and cook it) with cheers and adulation. OK, fine. When you stop to acknowledge, within yourself, that she really is doing the best she can, given her perspective on how things are done, you can lighten up a little, maybe look for compromise solutions.
Most importantly, look upon yourself with new eyes. Superman/Wonderwoman you may be, but you’ll still never please everyone all of the time. Especially not during the holidays, when expectations are heightened and disappointment is rife. Instead, deliberately appreciate yourself, knowing that you really, truly, are doing the best you can with what you have from where you are.
Doesn’t that already feel better?
Happy Holidays!
What is it about getting together as an extended family that seems so challenging? You should love and accept your relatives, but they drive you simply up a wall! How can you be grateful in this supposed time of gratitude when they are so annoying? Tune in to this podcast to find out an easy way to accept your whiny/obnoxious/critical relatives so you can have a genuine Thanksgiving.
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
Do you ever have a day where it seems everything is going badly, nothing ever seems to go right? To where you want to just scream, and give up on well, everything? Yet all you want to do is be happy, so what now? In this podcast, you’ll discover what’s holding you back from that happiness you crave, and how to handle things so yes, you can be happy!
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
We’re fast approaching that time of year when friend and family get-togethers and office parties are, well, obligatory. After all, you can’t exactly pretend that Thanksgiving and the Holiday Season don’t exist, and that invitations from your in-laws, workplace, friends and others can be casually ignored. Or that you can corral your beloved partner into NOT throwing a righteous “everyone welcome” Thanksgiving feast or giant Holiday party.
But then the ugly truth comes up and slaps you: how are you to pleasantly converse with those relatives, work colleagues, various invited friends and their assorted spouses, with whom you not only have nothing in common, but heartily disagree with on pretty much every subject?
Religion, politics, sports, pets, even the weather aren’t safe topics, and no, most people don’t know about, much less want to talk about, the economic and historical significance of the tulip bulb in the 1630s. Which is actually quite fascinating - but that’s a story for another day.
What To Talk About During Holiday Gatherings. Here's the thing: most people are far more interested in themselves, their thoughts, their opinions, their everything – than they are in anyone else. And yes, that includes you, me and all other sentient beings. It’s normal, it’s just an outgrowth of our survival instinct. So, use that to your advantage.
When Aunt Ida starts her usual harangue about the current administration, whether praising or condemning it, turn the spotlight back on her. Ask her, for example, what brought her to her opinion, not for the sake of debating it or arguing with her, but as if you were genuinely interested in the evolution of her thought. And sprinkle your listening with a lot of head nods and “mm-hmm” – again, expressing interest, not looking for points to use against her opinion. She’ll think you’re the best conversationalist ever, yet you never uttered a single word of your opinion.
That’s one way to change the subject. Another is, having first given a non-committal but polite head nod and “mm-hmm” to something said, comment on how lovely/cool/(insert compliment) their outfit is, where did they get it? Or go to “you know, I’ve been meaning to ask, how is your garden growing?” Or whatever hobby/work/volunteering they do is going.
Pay Attention. This means you do have to pay a modicum of attention to what that friend or relative or work colleague is all about. If you really want to pull this off well, best you spend a few moments, pre-festivity, remembering or asking someone who might know what those you are most likely to interact with are into.
Yes, it takes a little effort, and sometimes quite a bit of self-restraint. But hey, what would you prefer? Getting yourself all riled up over something said with an individual you rarely see more than once a year? Or enjoying peace of mind?
I know what I’ll choose.
For more inspiring messages, go to https://noellenelson.com/newsletters/newsletters-a-note-from-dr-noelle.
You don’t think of yourself as an overly fearful person, but heck! There are lots of scary situations out there, and yes, you get scared. Which doesn’t particularly make you feel good, if anything, fear just seems to grow and grow. In this podcast, you’ll learn an easy 2-step process for dealing with fear and how you can use it to restore your happiness and well-being.
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
Ever felt stuck, like you’re on a hamster wheel of replaying your last argument with your partner over and over and over? Why is it that you just can’t seem to get over it, boring your friends and family with your continual replay? Are you that relationship-impaired? No! In this podcast, find out how to get off that hamster wheel easily and into the land of a happier relationship quickly.
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the fo...
