Going For Misery or Looking For Ease?

 

The Holidays are long over, New Year’s came and went, Super Bowl happened, Valentine’s Day is but a dim recollection, so what’s next? Ah yes, tax season . . .

Let’s not all rejoice at the same time. Well, not me, anyway. As a self-employed, I now need to plow through all my receipts, sort them, and – you know the rest. And even if you’re not self-employed, you’ll still have stuff to deal with tax-wise. Which means that most of us find endless excuses to not deal with our tax ‘stuff’ until the very last minute. At which time we’re panicking or at the very least, being grumpy and irritable.

I had to ask myself, why would I do that to myself? Why would I turn an inevitable, regular, recurring task into a groany-moany time of misery? Then it occurred to me. What if, instead of putting time and energy into finding excuses for endless procrastination, I put time and energy into finding a way to deal with it relatively painlessly? A true “duh” moment.

Like scheduling it. Which is what I do with everything else. So I can do one part of the necessary tax prep on one day, just for an hour or so, and another part on a different day. Which makes the “medicine go down” much better, to quote that wise sage, Mary Poppins.

You may find taxes easy-peasy, but I’ll bet there are other tasks or chores that you avoid with righteous (and often innovative) excuses until you’re forced into taking care of whatever it is.

Why would you put yourself through such totally unnecessary pain? There really is no need. You’re smarter than that. Take a moment or two to figure out how you might either schedule the task, delegate it, or re-configure it such that you can get it done with ease. Ease - there’s a novel concept! And what a wonderful way to go about life’s “must-dos.”

Now that’s something worth thinking about!

The Agony of Shame, Episode 60

You beat yourself up endlessly over the “I should haves” and “I should have known betters” that punch nasty holes in your otherwise happy life, aka the “shame” of messing up. Yuck! What to do? In this podcast, you’ll find possible answers to that very question, so that you can mess up without feeling down. On the contrary, you’ll find ways to deal constructively with whatever happened. A much happier result than walking around in shame!

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp

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Drop it!!

 

I learned an amazing new technique from my massage therapist Tammy recently. No, not yet another way of ironing out my body ‘kinks,’ although she is pure genius when it comes to that. On the contrary, this had nothing to do with massage, and everything to do with life.

Ready? Here goes. Observing her dog one day, Tammy realized the profound significance of a singular command: “Drop it.” Her cute pooch immediately dropped whatever forbidden thing said puppy held tightly in its jaws. No arguing, no defensiveness, no reproach, just – dropped. Tammy started using the same technique on herself. When she had an unwanted thought or feeling, she just said “drop it” to herself.

OMG! Could it really be that easy? Yes! We are perfectly capable of obeying our commands to ourselves. We do it all day long, although often at a subconscious level: “get out of bed NOW” “brush your teeth” “be nice” “quit procrastinating” “Oh, that was stupid, how could I be so stupid?!” “Bad me!” But here’s the thing. “Drop it” requires a measure of determination and willingness few of us master as well as our dogs do...

So, easy. Yes, conceptually. The execution, however, aargh. The good news is that anything improves with practice. I’ve found that the more I use “drop it” with myself, the less likely I am to drag around some negative thought or feeling for hours (days?) on end. If nothing else, saying “drop it” to myself increases my awareness that I need to make a change, or else I’m going to keep myself in misery-land. Not my preference.

Do I mutter “I don’t wanna” to myself like a recalcitrant three-year-old on occasion? Of course I do! And yet, more often than not, I then think of Tammy’s wonderful life lesson from her dog, and remind myself that I too can learn to “drop it” on command.  

“A” Versus “The” Solution, Episode 58

Why is it that the apparently easy one-shot answer to your problem just caused a whole bunch of other problems? You’re exhausted! Understandably so, because you see, one size does not fit all. In this podcast, you’ll learn how to figure out the impact of your possible solution before implementing it, so that your solution really is a worthwhile answer to your problem.

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp

Check out this latest episode!

New Year’s Resolution, Episode 57

You resolve to be nicer, you get walked on. You resolve to be more assertive, people avoid you. What’s up with that? Why can’t you get this dealing with people thing right? Well, maybe it’s not that you can’t get it right, maybe, as you’ll discover in this podcast, it’s because you’ve allowed some very valuable aspects of yourself to go undeveloped and others to rule your life. Hmm . . . Time to find out what and how!

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp

 

  

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Who Will You Choose to Be In 2023?

 

The great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. The not-so-great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. Which we often abandon within a month or so. We then feel guilty or bad about ourselves for not being able to stick with whatever it was.

But what if you took a different tack? What if, instead of – or in addition to – your usual New Year’s resolutions, you took a look at what of yourself you are bringing to this party called 2023? Not focusing so much on what you intend to do, rather on what you intend to do it with?

Namely, you. How about your best self, the best of you? The courageous, forward-thinking, hopeful, enthusiastic you? Instead of the worried, fearful, anxious, doubting you. Which, by the way, is the you that stops you from fully accomplishing those New Year action-oriented intentions, like losing weight, making it to the gym regularly, going for that promotion, saving enough for that new pre-owned car, and so on.

Make a list of your best characteristics. The ones you’d like to bring to your endeavor, such as hopefulness, confidence, curiosity, willingness, eagerness and positivity. Do the very best you can to line yourself up with any one or more of these aspects of yourself before you set out to accomplish your action-oriented intention of the day. Now you can meet whatever you are engaging in with your best self, your heroic self (yes, you have one), the self that will make you proud.

Then, this may very well be the year when you keep those New Year’s resolutions beyond month one, month two – who knows, maybe for the whole of 2023!

Happy New Year!

 

On Choosing Enthusiasm, Episode 56

What you bring to life is what you get from it. No, that’s not just a cute platitude, it’s real. As in, you really do get what you give. But how? How exactly do you go about giving to life, your life, what you want from it? Good question! In this podcast, you’ll find possible answers to that very question, so that you can live a life you genuinely enjoy. And watch some of your dreams actually come true. Indeed!

Check out this latest episode!