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| Photo courtesy of Sixty and Me |
The dictionary defines sabotage as an attempt to deliberately
destroy, damage, or otherwise obstruct something. When we sabotage ourselves,
it's often sneaky and can go virtually undetected until we realize that we’re
unhappy, or feeling unfulfilled, or that we’re hurt in some way.
One of the sneakiest saboteurs I know
of is our nasty habit of entertaining negative thoughts. Thoughts that see the
glass as half-empty, our world as unfulfilling, other people as treacherous.
Sabotage
Is Unhealthy. Entertain negative thoughts often
enough, with sufficient energy, and your health will suffer. Science tells us
that such negative thinking depresses our immune system,
which in turn can lead to a host of unwelcome disorders: cardiovascular
disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, certain cancers, Alzheimer's
disease, frailty and functional decline, to name but a few.
The sneaky aspect is that often these
thoughts are partially grounded in reality. My flight was canceled this
morning, customer service was having a dickens of a time re-booking some 80 passengers
and the upshot is we were all considerably late to wherever we were headed.
Glass half-empty? You bet. In that moment, my world was certainly
unfulfilling, and the notion that my luggage wouldn’t make it to my
destination was “treacherous.”
In and of themselves, such thoughts are
harmless. Sabotage occurs when we dwell on them--we end up rehashing negative
events, looking ahead with trepidation, distrusting everyone and everything on
a regular basis.
Negative
Thoughts Hold Us Back. The ensuing sabotage of our otherwise
happy, healthy lives prevents us from trying new things, exploring new activities.
We shy away from the unfamiliar, even if a part of us really wants to try it.
We say to ourselves, “I don’t know
how,” as if people who know how were somehow born with the ability. We say, “I’ll
be terrible at it.” Everybody is terrible at something new--it takes perseverance
and patience to get good at things. We say, “I’m inadequate” or “I’ve never
done anything like this,” and with that we squash whatever dream we had. As we
move through our 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond, we are prone to even more such talk.
What a shame. How dreadful to sabotage dreams, dash hopes
and aspirations before they even get off the ground.
How life would have been different for Quin Bommelje,
if, at 60, she had said to her husband “No, I don’t think we should try
ballroom dancing. I mean, come on, look at us! We’re not dancers, we’re in our
60s, what’s the point of taking ballroom lessons?” Well, the point is that once
she and her husband started dancing, Quin discovered she really enjoyed it. At
71, a mere 11 years later, Quin won the America’s
Got Talent Golden Buzzer award with her dance partner, Misha. Her message
to all: age is irrelevant to living your dream.
Yet age is only irrelevant if you don’t
allow those sabotaging thoughts to intrude. Counter every negative thought with
a positive “Yeah, but,” as in “Yeah, but it might be fun,” “Yeah, but you never
know, I might just get good at it.”
Never let yourself say “That’s all very
well for those people, not regular people like me.” Not so. In my research of
seniors, I’ve learned an essential, profound truth: they are without exception
“regular people.” Some able-bodied, some not so, some long-time active
individuals, some never. All of them are just like you and me, with one
critical difference; they never let sabotaging thoughts interfere with their
desire to be or do whatever it is that makes their hearts sing.
As for my canceled/re-booked travel
today, I reversed my negative thinking and put an end to my self-sabotage by
reminding myself that I’ve flown umpteen times and always made it to wherever I
needed to go in sufficient time. That the airlines are well intentioned, in the
business of satisfying customers, and eventually all would be well. And by the
time my little red suitcase and I were reunited at the right destination, my
sabotaging thoughts were long gone.
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For stories about amazing older folks, go to https://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.
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