What could be the best gift ever? A free trip to Paris?
London? Bali? Some other wondrous and exotic locale? A spanking new
Tesla/Corvette/Ford F-150? An evening with your favorite celeb? Free tech
everything for life? Your kids being considerate and obedient for a day? (OK, a
whole hour). The list is endless. . .
But, no. The best holiday gift you could ever give or
receive is simply to know, acknowledge, and appreciate that everyone is always
doing the best they can, with what they have, from where they are. Including
yourself.
Really? Yes. Because whatever someone is doing, whether you
like it or not, is the best they can manage, considering their mental,
emotional, physical and financial resources, and their competence and
confidence in using those resources.
The overworked cashier who snapped at you, when you just
wanted to run back and get that one more item, really is doing their best,
given their fatigue dealing with harried customers and less-than-helpful
co-workers, their personal family issues and that nagging feeling that their
paycheck just isn’t going to go far enough this month.
The holidays stress people out more than any other time of
year. The season of “Peace on Earth, Good Will to All” is rarely peaceful, and
goodwill is scarce. Not that we’re bad people, deliberately slighting, ignoring
or otherwise being mean or disrespectful to others.
It’s because we’re ridiculously busy trying to fulfill all
the holiday obligations no single human could possibly fulfill to the
satisfaction of all concerned. Between the gift buying for which we never have
enough ready cash, the festivities to arrange and provide for, the decorating,
the obligatory family get-togethers – well, you know the rest.
We are all, truly, doing the best we can with what we have
from where we are at the moment. Just recognizing that will ease your stress.
Not eradicate it, but smooth it out, making things more doable, more tolerable.
Your mother-in-law really isn’t trying to make your life
miserable. She just thinks her holiday feast menu is the superior choice, and
she expects you to adopt it (and cook it) with cheers and adulation. OK, fine.
When you stop to acknowledge, within yourself, that she really is doing the
best she can, given her perspective on how things are done, you can lighten up
a little, maybe look for compromise solutions.
Most importantly, look upon yourself with new eyes.
Superman/Wonderwoman you may be, but you’ll still never please everyone all of
the time. Especially not during the holidays, when expectations are heightened
and disappointment is rife. Instead, deliberately appreciate yourself, knowing
that you really, truly, are doing the best you can with what you have from
where you are.
Doesn’t that already feel better?
Happy Holidays!