But, no. The best holiday gift you could ever give or receive is simply to know, acknowledge, and appreciate that everyone is always doing the best they can, with what they have, from where they are. Including yourself.
Really? Yes. Because whatever someone is doing, whether you like it or not, is the best they can manage, considering their mental, emotional, physical and financial resources, and their competence and confidence in using those resources.
The overworked cashier who snapped at you, when you just wanted to run back and get that one more item, really is doing their best, given their fatigue dealing with harried customers and less-than-helpful co-workers, their personal family issues and that nagging feeling that their paycheck just isn’t going to go far enough this month.
The holidays stress people out more than any other time of year. The season of “Peace on Earth, Good Will to All” is rarely peaceful, and goodwill is scarce. Not that we’re bad people, deliberately slighting, ignoring or otherwise being mean or disrespectful to others.
It’s because we’re ridiculously busy trying to fulfill all the holiday obligations no single human could possibly fulfill to the satisfaction of all concerned. Between the gift buying for which we never have enough ready cash, the festivities to arrange and provide for, the decorating, the obligatory family get-togethers – well, you know the rest.
We are all, truly, doing the best we can with what we have from where we are at the moment. Just recognizing that will ease your stress. Not eradicate it, but smooth it out, making things more doable, more tolerable.
Your mother-in-law really isn’t trying to make your life miserable. She just thinks her holiday feast menu is the superior choice, and she expects you to adopt it (and cook it) with cheers and adulation. OK, fine. When you stop to acknowledge, within yourself, that she really is doing the best she can, given her perspective on how things are done, you can lighten up a little, maybe look for compromise solutions.
Most importantly, look upon yourself with new eyes. Superman/Wonderwoman you may be, but you’ll still never please everyone all of the time. Especially not during the holidays, when expectations are heightened and disappointment is rife. Instead, deliberately appreciate yourself, knowing that you really, truly, are doing the best you can with what you have from where you are.
Doesn’t that already feel better?
Happy Holidays!
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