Finding Happiness, Living Your Joy

 

So often, it seems like the world presses against us, day in day out. Work duties, family obligations, endless chores, finances, on and on. Who has time for anything as frivolous as deliberately “finding happiness”? Much less “living your joy.” Like, when? How? And why would it even matter when getting through the day in one piece seems like “joy” enough.

It matters. A lot. The science is unequivocal: happy people are healthier. Happy people cope with stress better. People who cope with stress better are more successful – mostly because their energies are less bound up in anxiety and fear. Plus, happy just feels good. Look at any toddler running around. They have a singular objective; to be as happy as possible. They don’t care what you think of it, the mess they may create, or how their bouncy, quirky selves annoy others. They are happy, and that’s reason enough for them to do whatever they are doing.

You groan. OK, fine, but what if happiness for you means traveling? To far distant lands, for example, which costs more money than you can afford, and means time off work/family/etc. which you can’t get.

Easy peasy. Use your creative brain (yes, you have one, everyone does) to come up with a way to satisfy – to some degree – your travel urge without costing you beaucoup bucks in time or money. A friend of mine, whose passionate longing to visit Japan has been squelched by work, finances, family and COVID, came up with a unique solution: he and his partner visited their town’s local “Japan town” and spent an afternoon there. They soaked up the different architecture, visited the stores with their Japanese goods, ate at a Japanese restaurant, relished the different language spoken all around them – and went home, guess what? Happy!

Did this replace my friend’s desire to visit Japan? No. But it did give him a wonderful few hours of quasi-immersion in the Japanese culture. It gave him some happiness, while he saves dollars for when the time to actually go to Japan becomes available.

Your happiness might be to become a best-selling author. Great! “But who has the time to write?” you ask. You. You have an hour, somewhere in your week, that you can devote to writing. Maybe even an hour twice a week. You can master the “4 pages a week” writing goal that another friend of mine used to eventually complete her first novel.

It really doesn’t matter what brings you happiness, you can find a way to do some portion of it, to experience the whatever it is, in some small measure, until the circumstances of your life allow you to indulge in a bigger way.

That’s what “finding happiness” is all about. “Living your joy” is the natural consequence of the deliberate cultivation, bit by bit, of what makes you happy.

Go for it! Heck, if the average toddler has nailed this, so can you.

 

How To Find Happiness & Success In A Post-COVID World –- Audio Book Tells How

 

As we slowly enter a post-COVID world, we can't help but realize that everything is different now—how we live and love and just plain survive is in question. My book, "I Survived COVID-19, What Now?! Finding Happiness and Success in a Post COVID World" is now available in audio. It shows us how we can transform the uncertainty and anxiety of the future into a positive way forward.

 

The audio book is available on Amazon. Click below for more information and to hear an audio sample.

 

https://amzn.to/3vP4CMH

 

For an intro about the book, go to  https://bit.ly/SuccessPostCOVIDWorld.

 

A Unique Holiday Gift – Cute Critter Viewing!

 

Just when you thought things were going to get better, the pandemic surged, causing yet again a slew of restrictions right in time for the Holidays. No, really?! It feels like 2020 can’t find its joy, not even a tiny sparkle of happiness, nothing to light up the Holidays. No family get-togethers, endless Zoom encounters, restless/moody children and no weekend escapes somewhere maskless and free. 

Which leaves many of us depressed, lonely, getting crankier by the day, and wondering if we shouldn’t just nix the Holidays and pull a Rip Van Winkle until some time next year.

So go look at a collection of cute animals on the web. Truly! I don’t care whether you’re a sappy sentimental sort or a macho man/woman who wouldn’t dream of a moment of soft-furry-cuddle imaginings. Go look at an assortment of cute animals. Recent research out of the University of Leeds in the United Kingdom, in partnership with Western Australia Tourism, has shown that watching 30 minutes worth of pictures and videos of cute animals has tremendous positive impact on our health and mental well-being. You don’t even have to own a pet or befriend one “live.” The virtual version works just fine. Who would have thought it possible? 

All this time you thought those cute animal pics and Internet videos were for children and bored web surfers. Not. They’re for you! Viewing them actually reduces your blood pressure, evens out your heart rate and lowers your anxiety. The researchers reported that average blood pressure dropped from 136/88 to 115/71, which is considered to be within ideal blood pressure range. Average heart rates lowered to 67.4 bpm, a reduction of 6.5%. Best of all (in my view), anxiety rates dropped on average 35%. This is hard science, measurable facts, not wishful thinking.

The added benefit is that viewing cute critters has none of those pesky side effects you might risk from anxiety-reducing pharmaceuticals (prescription or other). 

So give yourself a unique present this Holiday Season. And if you feel so inclined, invite a friend or loved one to share the joy. Ditch Netflix (temporarily) and snuggle into the couch for a nice session of “cute-animal viewing.” Your body and mind will thank you.

Happy Holidays!

Happiness Is a Choice

Ringo

My beloved pup, Ringo, crossed over the Rainbow Bridge a couple of weeks ago. It was quite unexpected. Even though he was 14, had arthritis in his hips, cataracts and couldn’t hear worth a darn, he was one happy healthy boy up until his final week. Then suddenly the aggressive cancer in his spleen (that I didn’t know about) overwhelmed his system and he was gone in a matter of days.

My remaining pup, Baer, who’s all of 7 going on 3 (one Energizer Bunny battery too many), is confused. What happened to his big brother? We were a pack of three, now it’s just “Mommy and me.” He trots his favorite toy, a stuffed dog, around the house, through the doggie door, back into the house, brings it to me. Takes it back outside. Buries it in the garden. Unburies it. Aargh. The boy does not know what to do with himself. I keep telling him, “Be patient, I’ll get you a new brother soon,” but words just aren’t cutting it.

As I sit there petting him, missing our Ringo, I am reminded that happiness is a choice. I can remain depressed, low-spirited and unhappy over Ringo’s passing or I can choose – yes, choose – to see what’s right with right now, and choose to be happy. Jumping up and down happy? No. But OK. Appreciating what is. That I can do.

So I look at Baer, and marvel at this wonderful doggy-companion the Universe has gifted me. I think about how much I appreciate his snuggling with me at night, how fun it is for him to wake me by laying his front paws on my chest and licking my face. What a goof ball he is when he runs rings around the living room sectional, as if on a track doing laps.

I remember good times with Ringo – how much he loved his car-rides, how he loved to roll over on his back and stretch out all 95 pounds of himself for a righteous tummy-scratch. How he would tussle with Baer in his younger years, without ever hurting him. How his version of what you do with a bunny-rabbit lost in the backyard is not to kill it, but to lick it all over, as if to return it clean and unharmed to its “pack.”

As hard as it is to lose a loved one – animal or human – as long as we are still alive, there is something to be happy about. Something to appreciate, something or someone to live for. We don’t help the departed by being miserable, nor does it make anything better for those still here. That we should mourn and grieve, yes, absolutely, but never to forget that appreciation, of what was and is, is what will pull us through and onward.

After all, what will Baer’s someday new brother want? A miserable, depressed family? Or a happy one, eager to welcome him into the fold . . .

From Sixty and Me - Happiness: the Key to Good Health in the Years of Maturity

Last week I had lunch with a dear friend who later texted me, apologizing for having spent most of our time together moaning and groaning about various things going on in her life. She hoped she hadn’t been a drain on me.

I texted her back that no, she hadn’t. On the contrary, I value our friendship and appreciate our being able to share whatever’s going on in our respective lives. That made me happy.

Not happy, of course, that my friend is going through a rough patch, but happy that we can talk about such things, support each other, be there for one another. And certainly not happy as in jumping for joy, but satisfied, content, pleased with our friendship and our sharing.

Happiness Is Good for Your Health

Happy comes in many different shapes and colors, but here’s the thing. Regardless of what makes you happy, whether it’s the content/satisfied version or the jumping-for-joy version, happiness has a direct and unmistakable impact on your health.

Extensive research – over 150 studies – show that happiness, what scientists like to call “subjective well-being,” supports better cardiovascular health, a well-functioning immune system, faster healing from wounds, and lower likelihood of getting colds or the flu.

How do we get there? What if your finances are less than wonderful, your health imperfect, your family annoying, your work life disappointing? Or worse? Where’s the happiness in any of that?
It’s not. So don’t look there.

Watch for the Tide

Happiness isn’t an all-or-nothing experience. Happiness, for most of us, comes and goes. The more aware we are of what makes happiness come, so to speak, the more we can tune in to those events or situations.

For example, my friend loves to watch tennis on TV. No matter what else is going on in her life, she can lose herself and forget about her problems while watching a tennis match. For that time, she is happy.

For me, it’s dance. No matter how dreadful my day, no matter how awful some part of my current experience may be, I will come out of a dance class uplifted and happy.

For others, such as Jean Bailey, it’s volunteering. At 98, she could sit at home by herself, but that’s not what makes Jean happy. She’s been volunteering at Methodist Women’s Hospital since she turned 62, escorting patients to scans and offering assistance to RNs and techs wherever she can be of service.

Jean doesn’t volunteer for the recognition, although she recently received the Methodist Health System’s “honorary lifetime V.I.P. Award” for her greatly appreciated and valuable service.
Jean volunteers because she enjoys people. It makes her happy. Her “happy” certainly supports her being healthy, as her spry 98 years show.

What makes you happy may be simple, like diving into a good book, or more involved, like kayaking. It doesn’t matter. Find something – find several things – that make you happy no matter what, and engage in those activities as often as possible.

With that, you will enjoy the health that your happiness brings.

Sixty and Me: Don’t Wait for Happiness to Find You: Invest in Finding It for Yourself!

Source: Sixty and Me

Happiness is more than a feel-good emotion. Happiness, science is discovering, is actually surprisingly beneficial to our health and longevity.

Indeed, researchers have found that happiness contributes to lower risk of heart disease, lower blood pressure, stronger immune system, improved mobility, and lower risks of developing a disability, to name but a few of the benefits.

Often, we think something must happen to us for us to feel happy. Your grandchild smiles at you, you are happy. Your coffee is particularly delicious, you are happy. You find that item you’ve been longing for on sale, you are happy. You have lunch with a friend, you are happy.

Find Your Purpose; Find Your Happiness

What we too often overlook are the ways we can increase our personal happiness without waiting on anyone or anything. One of the primary ways is to appreciate all that is in your world, your life and to be grateful.

Another is to be kind to others, whether they acknowledge your gesture or not. But one of the most powerful and most often neglected roads to happiness is a sense of purpose.
I have extensively researched and investigated happy, healthy individuals in their 70s, 80s, 90s, and 100s. Almost without exception, these people have a strong sense of purpose. It’s what keeps them firmly anchored in a desired present and future.

Too many of us are locked in our past.

Look Forward, Not Backward

A friend of mine recently lamented: “When I imagined my future, I saw myself surrounded by my husband and three grown daughters and their families, being engaged in their lives on a daily basis. Instead of baby-sitting or helping with meals, or even celebrating holidays together, I am widowed and live far from my daughters. Nothing turned out the way I thought it would. My daughters all live in different states. One is single and intends to stay childless forever, and the other two are far too busy to indulge in ‘quality time’ with me.

I’m bored, bumping around from one volunteer activity to another, not knowing what to do with myself. I’m too old to go back to work, even if I wanted to – which I don’t – yet I’m not ready to pack it all in. There’s nothing really wrong in my life, yet I’m so unhappy.”

My friend is locked in her past. Even her dream of a future was nothing more than an extension of her past. And yes, my friend suffers from all sorts of minor ailments, from cardiovascular issues to frequent colds, to mild depression.

None of them serious enough to alarm her doctors, but all of which point to the underlying cause – unhappiness.

How To Find Your Purpose

What would a sense of purpose look like? Almost anything: writing a novel, achieving an educational degree, learning a new language or instrument, volunteering regularly at a local hospital, running/walking a marathon, the list goes on.

The activity doesn’t matter. What matters is the passion with which you pursue it, and that it keeps you looking/moving forward into the future.

For many, that means setting a goal and then doing what it takes to reach that goal. Goals can be big or small; some people go for Guinness Book of Records goals, others for improving their gym workout one exercise at a time.

I’m into competitive Ballroom Dancing, not because I like to compete; I don’t really. What I love is the challenge of dancing just a little better this year than I did last year, and competitions give me something tangible to reach for by a certain date.

Just like preparing to run a marathon/walk-a-thon knowing that one must be ready by a certain date gives a true sense of purpose to all those workouts.

Find something you love, or something you’ve always wanted to try, and go for it. Set a goal, large or small, it matters not, and commit to it with all your heart. Let that be your purpose. The more you commit, the more your passion will grow, and with it – your happiness, health, and longevity.

 Sixty and Me