Waste Not, Want Not!

 

We may not be out of the pandemic quite yet, but many of us are carving out a “new normal” for ourselves. Because let’s face it, life is not going back to what it was a mere two years ago. This actually is a good thing, because we have the opportunity to make new decisions, new choices for how we want to live going forward.

There was an adage my mother repeated endlessly: “Waste not, want not.” Her objective was to get her children to eat everything on their plate, including the brussel sprouts. Yuck. At the time, I thought, well the dog will always eat the brussel sprouts slipped under the table so nothing wasted. Nah!

That being said, Mom had a point. Not about the brussel sprouts so much, but about life. During our necessary stay-at-home time, we spent increasing amounts of time on Netflix, Hulu, TV, and Facebook. To a certain degree, many of us got addicted to various shows and sites, which is fine, if that was indeed a considered choice. Mostly it wasn’t. We were bored, there was little we could do for entertainment, so voila. More screen time. Much of it mindless . . .

We have the opportunity now to choose differently. Actually, for many of us, to just plain choose. Is our screen time robbing us of time better spent elsewhere? With friends? Family? Learning something? Engaging in a new hobby/avocation? Improving our job situations/careers? Our finances? Our relationships?

How about robbing us of the energy we could put to more fulfilling use somewhere else? Same list: friends, family, learning, hobby/avocation, improving job/career/finances/relationships.

And how about the love, the passion, the caring we could invest in our lives, our daily do, new adventures, our nears and dears?

Now is a wonderful opportunity to choose differently, and to prioritize those choices. Not to eliminate our entertainment screen time, but to choose deliberately how much time, energy and passion we commit to it. To choose deliberately how much time, energy and passion we commit to other aspects of our lives.

“Waste not, want not” isn’t just for brussel sprouts. “Waste not, want not” is a profound statement about the human limitations of the time, energy and passion that are ours to live. Choose wisely where you spend them, so there is no waste, so that you can enjoy fully the astonishing, amazing journey that is your life.

Decide or Slide

A friend of mine broke her upper arm recently. Considering she’s a massage therapist who’s been out of work on and off all year due to COVID, plus having a hastily re-organized virtual wedding as opposed to the long planned-for wedding of her dreams, along with the death of her beloved grandmother, this was just one more “yikes!!” she has had to deal with. She feels like she’s been tossed around like a rag doll by events. Nothing like the calm, ordered, happy life she’s experienced most of her adulthood.

Heaven knows, she’s not alone. So much is going on these days that challenge us: the political scene, the pandemic and all its economic consequences, yet more fires and hurricanes, not to mention friends/family with COVID or other illnesses and injuries. 

It’s easy to slide into negativity, into hopelessness and despair. Even with the best positive attitude in the world, these are trying times. What to do?

Decide! In other words, when you feel yourself sliding into negativity, into gloom and depression, decide. Be conscious, not knee-jerk reactionary unconscious. It’s beneath you. Instead, summon up your inner Captain Marvel, and take a stand for the forces of good. Your good! Yes, set a timer for 20 minutes and allow yourself to rant, weep or whatever you do when in the throes of “It’s not fair!!” I usually put the dogs outside (otherwise they’d try to comfort me and I’m not up for that yet), and then abuse umpteen pages of paper with scrawled histrionics. But once that timer dings, you’re done! 

Figure out what you can do to either make yourself feel better or make the situation better. Get creative. You are a powerful human being with far more resources (inner and outer) than we generally give ourselves credit for.

Get mindful. Focus on one thing at a time and give it your complete, undivided attention. Decide that you ARE going to get through this, that you deserve to give yourself the best of yourself, and that’s your “can do,” “always a way” self. 

Decide or slide. The choice is yours.

 

What's Your Next Right Move?

 Something Oprah Winfrey said in an interview I stumbled across recently really hit home with me: “What is the next right move?” She was talking about how to handle disappointments, even failures, and the point she was making is how useless it is for us to dwell on whatever-it-was, but rather to point ourselves in the direction of the next “right move.”

I love that! A mantra that can be applied to the little annoyances in life, as well as the oh-my-gosh flops/falls. My latest rescue puppy, during the first couple of months with us, would get so excited about FOOD!!! that the second he’d inhale the contents of his dish, he’d race over to my older dog’s dish and with the excitement of possibly locating the merest lick of MORE FOOD!!! would pee, right there on the kitchen floor. Needless to say, “Mom,” aka me, was not happy. He had learned that his bathroom was out there in nature, so it wasn’t an “I’m not sure where to go” issue, it was truly food-excitement.

I had a choice. I could get myself in a snit over his unwanted behavior, hash and re-hash it, etc., but fortunately, I had come across Oprah’s “next right move,” and sat myself down for a good think. I came up with first making sure that according to the vet, my new “boy” was getting proper nutrition. That being done, I decided that the instant rescue-baby had finished his meal, I would zip him out the puppy door and into the yard for a pee. Phew!

Problem solved. Now, a couple of months later, he just zips out that door by himself right away, and we haven’t had an indoor pee since.

This may seem minor to you, but then, most of the stuff that gets us all annoyed is minor!  However, when we  have to deal with the heavies of life, we can use the “next right move” just as effectively. A dear friend of mine is suffering from a health condition that her physicians and various specialists cannot yet diagnose. So they keep giving her treatments in hopes something will alleviate her pain. What an unfortunate predicament! Yet my friend inspires me by her decision to continue with as much of her regular life as possible, keeping herself firmly on the track of “next right move,” rather than on the oh-so-seductive “woe is me” track.

We all somehow know what a “right move” is, even though that “move” will be different for every situation. It is, always, the move that keeps you on a positive, upward path. A move that leans in the direction of solutions and away from lamenting your misfortune.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been rejected for a job, by a spouse, or lost your savings in some unfortunate occurrence, as best you can, howl briefly over the injustice/pain, and then follow Oprah’s excellent advice, “What’s my next right move?”