Why is it you can’t seem to get any of your desired self-improvement goals going? Whether it’s losing weight, going to the gym, or getting to work on time, nothing you do seems to stick. Surely you’re not that bad a person! No, you’re not! You just haven’t discovered what this podcast offers, namely the secret of how to make your worthwhile self-improvement goals stick. Tune in and find out!
Tuesday, January 18, 2022
Tuesday, January 4, 2022
The Fallacy of Control, Episode 33
Does it ever feel like your emotions are running the show? Like your anger, anxiety, depression have just taken over your whole being? How are you to get on with what needs to be done when you feel such overwhelming emotions? In this podcast, discover how you can deal with your emotions so they don’t take you hostage, so you can get on with your life the way you want to.
Tuesday, December 28, 2021
Walk Past The Rabbit Hole Into A Stellar New Year!
To say it’s been a strange year is an understatement. Even stranger than last year, because most of us expected that 2021 would see an end to the global pandemic and political unrest. Not! So here we are, still in the worldwide chaos of COVID and politics, wondering what new disaster will befall us in 2022. Yikes!
But here’s the thing: what are we setting ourselves up for? If indeed, like attracts like, if what you think and feel brings more of the same to you, what are we setting ourselves up for? Peering out into 2022 and seeing only more to worry about narrows our focus. Our attention is caught in wretched “what if-s?” and sails right on by positive possibilities. Yet we don’t want to ignore reality and pretend all is well when it surely isn’t.
What to do?
Pay attention to what you are setting yourself up for. When you find yourself catastrophizing, barreling down the gloom-and-doom scenarios, stop. Yes. Just plain old – stop! Ask yourself, “Self, what else might happen here? What good thing just might happen along the way?” Because when you’re looking for it, you’ll always find something valuable, something to be grateful for, happening, in your – our – world.
A couple of months ago, I fell badly during a ballroom dance competition. I couldn’t get up off the dance floor. Literally. I was terrified. What if I’d injured myself so badly I’d never dance again? Walk properly again? How would I take care of my big dogs? And down the rabbit-hole of catastrophizing I went, imagining every dire consequence of this fall. Yet people around me were taking care of me in a myriad of ways, from getting me to the ER, to getting me home safely, to referring me to a great PT, to caring for my dogs, and so much more. Which finally yanked me out of my catastrophizing into “Wait a minute. I’m being helped here. There’s hope. I’m gonna be OK.” Which I was, eventually. I had worried myself needlessly for days. And knowing what I know about how negative thoughts and feelings depress our immune system and ability to heal, you’d think I’d have remembered that and avoided catastrophizing entirely. Sigh . . .
So no, you don’t want to deny the reality of this past year. But there’s no need to dwell on its awfulness either. Instead, set yourself up for a great 2022 by looking to what is going right in your life. To what opportunities for growth, adventure, fun, love and laughter exist, even if only as mere glimmerings, in your life.
2022 will be, to a large extent, what you make of it. So
walk right past that rabbit hole and into the very best 2022 you can imagine.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 21, 2021
Take the Martyr Out of Patience, Episode 32
To you, it seems like “be patient” is just another way of people saying “tolerate the stuff you don’t like.” Aargh! Who needs that? But patience is actually the key to a wonderful future. Not a future of putting-up-with, but a future designed by your choice. Yes! It’s possible, it’s doable. In this podcast, you’ll learn the true value of patience, and how you can use it to create a better, more fulfilling life for yourself.
Tuesday, December 7, 2021
Talk Less, Listen More, Episode 31
What is it with people who won’t do what they’re supposed to do! Partners, children, co-workers, what is it, a conspiracy to get you to do everything yourself? No. Although it certainly can feel like it. In this podcast, discover two easy yet powerful steps to getting more of what you need other people to handle, actually handled! Without wearing yourself out screaming or nagging. Sweet!
Wednesday, November 24, 2021
Reframe Problems as Projects: Brilliant!
I came across a quote recently by Alan Cohen I think is pure genius: “When you reframe problems as projects, they will cease to bother you and begin to stimulate you.”
Pure genius for me, anyway, as it put my recent experience with a badly strained hamstring in perfect perspective. There I was, on the ballroom dance competition floor, in full “Country two-step” mode (yes, Country is part of ballroom dancing!), when my right foot slipped on the very slick floor, my right leg shot out from under me and down I went. The paramedics, ER and various X-rays, CT scans, etc., revealed no broken bones, no stress fractures, just a nasty strain. Which means six weeks of recovery. And that’s with PT.
The “problem” in that is “no dancing.” Yikes! Dancing is what thrills my soul, keeps me sane, and works my body big-time. Saying that “bothered” me is so far away from my truth it’s almost indescribable. Terrified and depressed would be closer to how I felt. But when I read Alan Cohen’s quote, I realized that I could take my required break from active dancing as a project, not a problem, and with that, I began to feel a lot better.
I decided to use the time to think through my dance technique and patterns, to watch YouTube videos of professional dancers for how I could improve my dancing, to confer with my instructor on what new skills we could implement once back on my feet. All in the service of using this downtime to my advantage, as opposed to moping on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
Project instead of problem. Problem, you see, implies a “stuckness,” something that impedes progress, whereas “project” implies forward motion. Solution. Movement towards a goal. Suddenly the whole of you is galvanized. You have a positive intention to orient yourself, around which you can gather your energy to best effect. Brilliant!
Ask yourself: where in your life is there a problem, that
redefined as a project, might actually advance your happiness and success? Now
that’s something worth thinking about. It certainly got me off the couch, still
hobbling perhaps, but a whole lot happier and positively inspired!
Tuesday, November 16, 2021
The Blame Game, Episode 30
Why is it you can’t seem to get off the blame game? Whether it’s blaming other people for whatever’s going wonky in your life, or blaming yourself over and over again, it seems blame is your go-to for, well, everything! But it doesn’t feel good in the long run, and it never solves anything, so what are you to do? In this podcast, you will discover the two secrets that can allow you to let go of the blame game forever. And lead a much happier life because of it.
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