What’s Right With This Picture?

 

Lunch at a restaurant! With a friend, live and in person! A restaurant with indoor seating, no masks required for the vaccinated. OMG, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. After the long year of home-cooking (not much variety there), take-out (fun from time to time, not all the time), and lusting in front of Food Network re-runs, the trip to the restaurant was more than a welcome event. It was Nirvana.

As my friend and I lovingly perused the menu, comparison-shopping the promised taste treats, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the couple behind us. “They don’t have anything I want,” the woman moaned. “I thought you liked salmon,” her friend replied. “Not grilled like that, it’ll be all dry,” the woman said. “Maybe you can ask them to poach it,” her friend suggested. “Fat chance,” the woman said. “And what’s with the waiter?” she continued, “we’ve been here at least 15 minutes, and haven’t seen hide nor hair of him since he plunked the water down. Which he spilled on the table, by the way – look at that!”

No doubt the woman was correct, mostly anyway. But what a way to nuke an otherwise perfectly good experience! Instead of which, she could have simply focused on “What’s right with this picture?” It may not have changed the facts: perhaps the restaurant wouldn’t have prepared her salmon differently, and the waiter hadn’t been to their table in 15 minutes, but it certainly would have changed the woman’s experience of the facts.

Let’s see. It was a restaurant, so no food-prep to do or dishes to wash. There was an extensive menu, so lots of choices beyond the salmon. There was a person willing to wait on them. The couple was seated, together, indoors, without masks, which means . . . they could have enjoyed conversing with each other. They could have appreciated the simple fact of getting to be out in the world again, considering our past pandemic year. So much was “right” with their picture!

No matter where you’re at, no matter how you are coming out of your COVID-restricted shell, do your darndest to see “What’s right with this picture.” Your job may have suffered, you may have to adapt to new work circumstances. Your kids may be driving you bonkers with their bickering over changed school arrangements. You may be worried about what your friends will think of all this pandemic-induced weight you’ve gained or lost. You may be confused about how to resume normal family or couple or dating life, and what’s normal now anyway?

We are all in this together, more than ever. One thing I know for sure, we can all benefit from a healthy dose of “What’s right with this picture” when we look out at our changed world, our friends and co-workers, and yes, especially and even—ourselves.

 

The Valentine’s Day Gift That Keeps On Giving: What’s Right With Your World?

 So much of our time is spent fixing problems: problems at work, issues with our loved ones, concerns with our health, our weight, our finances. You name it, 90% of our waking hours (and so many of our sleeping ones as well) are spent in having yet another problem brought to our attention, with its clamoring need; “Fix me, Fix me!”

But what if, just for this Valentine’s Day, you shifted your attention to “What’s right with” – well, everything? What’s right with your work, your loved ones, your body, your finances? And on and on.

There is nothing more loving than aiming a healthy dose of “what’s right” at all those in your life. Think about it. When was the last time you looked at your spouse/significant other with “what’s right” on your mind? Oh sure, you love them, and that’s great, but in the ordinary course of life, how often do you deliberately dwell on what’s right with them? What’s wonderful about them, what thrills you to the very marrow of your bones?

As opposed to noticing the minor irritations we invariably inflict on those we love. You know, the messy bathroom, the forgotten dry-cleaner’s items, the missed dinners/soccer games.

And how about yourself? How often do you stop to appreciate all that is right with you and how you lead your life? Of course there are areas you want to improve, maybe parts of yourself and your life you’d like to radically transform, but there are also lots of parts of you that deserve appreciation, acknowledgment of “rightness.”

For example, the very fact that you want to improve--that you aren’t interested in putting up with those times you fail to be the kind, considerate, understanding human being you know you’re capable of being. That you want to achieve what you know you’re capable of, not the mediocrity you currently wallow in. That’s lots of rightness right there. Not to mention your taken-for-granted abilities, like your sense of humor (yes, that’s an ability), your loyalty to your friends, the skills you’ve learned along the way, and so much more.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, appreciated, and a large part of that is loving those who inhabit our world. This Valentine’s Day, look at your world, your co-workers, your boss, your nears-and-dears, even yourself, with new eyes--eyes that see what’s right with it all, and watch your love-quotient expand exponentially.

Then, be really daring, and see if you can’t, one day at a time, shift your focus to “what’s right” until it becomes a habit, vastly increasing your enjoyment of this fabulous adventure called “Life!”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Celebrate Your Life With Love this Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day: a joy if you're blessed with a wonderful relationship, an annoyance (or worse) if you're single and unhappy about it, or in a "challenging" (aka miserable) relationship . . .

But what if - splendidly coupled, despairingly single, or somewhere in between - you chose, this Valentine's Day to fall in love with your LIFE! To expand the idea of a day devoted to the love in our lives beyond that "special person," mate or significant other, and celebrate the love throughout your life: the love of your friends, your pets, your family members, your community, your living space, your occupation, your body, your very self. All the love that permeates your life, if you just for a moment, stop to see it.

Valentine's Day is that moment. Notice, all through your day, the love - the appreciation, the kindness, the caring - that your friends, pets, family, co-workers, cashiers, barristas, all those we share this planet with, extend to us in small and large ways. Smiles, a kind word, a helping hand - these, and so much more, we receive throughout our days. More, if you offer your love - your smile, your kindness, your help - to those you encounter as you live the ordinary time of your life.

Personally, I make it a practice to say "thank you" when it’s unexpected, for things that are too easily taken for granted. I travel a lot for my work, and I've surprised more than one TSA officer by saying "Thank you for keeping us safe," and cleaning personnel in public restrooms by saying "Thank you for keeping things clean for all of us." You should see the pleased look roadway construction workers give me when I thank them! Or grocery store managers when I ask for "the compliment department." I do my best to keep my awareness high of the many ways in which people, from nears and dears to strangers, fill my life with love.

You see, love isn't only romance and passion. Love is the care with which you do whatever it is you do, the consideration and respect you give to those you interact with.  And it is this love, freely and virtually unconsciously given by those I encounter throughout my days, in so many unique and varied ways, that enriches and inspires my life.

Valentine's Day! Yes, of course, celebrate the love with that special someone, but take fullest advantage of this remarkable and wondrous day to celebrate love! For it is truly all around you, every moment of every day, well worth celebrating.