What if there was a way to make change happen more easily in your life? What if you could, just by altering what you use as your reference points for the change you want, get things to happen more successfully for you? In this podcast, find out how to make change something you actually can look forward to, and how you can harness it to be happier in your life!
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Then I mentally flagellate myself for a while, before I finally remember to ask “Why am I martyring myself over this? What purpose?” Zip. None. Nada. My self-imposed suffering doesn’t solve the problem, make the discomfort go away, or achieve any other useful objective. If anything, all that mental anguish makes it harder to come up with solution-oriented thoughts, in addition to being a completely unnecessary waste of time.
Would I ever, in a million years, subject a friend to the mental battering I just inflicted on myself? No. Unequivocally, absolutely not. So why am I doing it to myself?
Simple! I’ve forgotten how important it is to be my own BFF. To remind myself that people make mistakes, and it’s OK. Most problems have a solution if one is willing to go down the solution path rather than continue to chase the problem down an unfathomable rabbit hole. Nobody’s perfect, certainly not me, and, mercifully, perfection isn’t required for a good and fulfilling life.
Of course, it’s wonderful when all goes according to plan, when things turn out just as you’d hoped they would, but it’s also important to always have a Plan B. I’ve decided that my Plan B is to talk to myself the way my BFF would. She, marvelous being that she is, would cut me some slack. She’d point out to me how often things eventually turn out all right, and how most of the time, I sort out whatever it is without too much trouble. And how I have resources, inner and outer, to help me deal with whatever the issue is.
Be your own BFF. Lift yourself out of your “woe is me” by remembering how very capable you are, how supported you are, we all are, by those who inhabit our world, our “village.” You’ve wasted enough time martyring yourself. Remind yourself how often you’ve done well, and then get going on that solution hunt right away.
Yes, now. Right now. You got this!
Ever wished life were simpler? That whatever you wanted in the realm of improved or better relationships could just happen with a snap of your fingers, as if by magic? Sigh. Unfortunately, wishing doesn’t make it so, but in this podcast, you’ll be introduced to an approach that, when properly implemented, can indeed feel “like magic.”
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
In our perpetual pursuit of “do it, have it, get it now,” we often forget to look at the long- term consequences of our instant decisions. In this podcast, you’ll explore how to make choices so you get what you want, but in a way that doesn’t ruin your life.
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A woman is running on the treadmill next to me at the gym, moaning and complaining the whole time. How miserable she is at having to work out, how hard it is to get herself to the gym knowing she’s in for an hour of pain. How she’d rather do pretty much anything other than deal with exercise machines and lifting weights and making herself “do just one more.”
Tired of hearing her litany of woes, I turned to her as I got off my treadmill and said “So don’t.” “Don’t what?” “Don’t work out if you hate it so much.” “Yeah, right. How am I supposed to stay fit and energized if I don’t work out?” “Try another approach.”
She looked at me as if I’d totally lost it. “Whatever.” “No, really. You could take up pickleball or running or tennis or Zumba or any form of dance. There are umpteen ways of staying fit. You don’t need to make yourself miserable.” “Fine, whatever,” she replied, obviously not having any of it.
And I thought, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we stick with something that makes us miserable? Life is meant for joy! Not misery. Yes, of course, there are circumstances and events in our lives that cause us pain and unhappiness. But much of the time, we are the architects of our own lack of joy. We put up with jobs we don’t like, relationships that aren’t a fit for us, follow the trend of the day even when it doesn’t feel good, and on and on.
It doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t have to stay with whatever choice we made that no longer brings us satisfaction. We can forge a different path, explore something else and take the risk of leaving the familiar. Because that’s where we get stuck. On the familiar. On the tried and true, whatever that means for us. We’d rather stick with what we know, even if we don’t like it.
Rebel! Refuse to be unhappy. Take one small step in the direction of something that might, just might, bring you more satisfaction. Try it. Take another small step. If you don’t like it, no worries, go try something else. With a small step. Then another and another. It may take a while, but surely a life of discovery and adventure is more pleasing than decades of complaining. Just sayin’.
Life is meant for joy. As much as you possibly can, enjoy
it!
Why, when you just want to chill but your partner is demanding, do you just cave into them, shelving your needs, and ending up resentful? In this podcast, discover a way to satisfy your partner’s needs without sacrificing your own. Wouldn’t that be nice!
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
Ever notice how when you’ve made a mistake or failed at something, your immediate reaction is to see yourself as dumb, stupid or a complete loser? In this podcast, find out how you can quit hurting yourself with self-blame and deal constructively with the mistakes and failures we all fall into!
Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the fo...
