You Got This!

 

My morning was supposed to be devoted to writing a report for one of the trial attorneys I consult for. The work takes concentration and focus, as my conclusions influence how the case is developed. It’s important, it matters, I need to do it well. But “life” was having none of it . . .

The dogs barked at everything – leaves falling, squirrels romping, the neighbor’s construction project. My cell dinged repeatedly with texts that needed responses, emails marked “urgent” landed non-stop in my inbox, and I couldn’t locate a document I was sure I’d saved.

Might as well give up on the day. Clearly, nothing good was going to happen.

Then about 10 minutes into my self-indulgent pity party, I realized, “Wait a minute. I had a sucky morning. OK. It happens. There’s no need to let it ruin the rest of my day.” Whereupon I parked the dogs in the side yard where I wouldn’t hear their barking as loudly, turned off my text notifications, figured no one was going to die if I didn’t answer emails immediately (I’m not a heart surgeon!), took a deep breath, re-focused and dived back into my report-writing.

We do that, you know. I do that. We don’t work out one day, or one week, and figure we’re losers, will never get in shape, game over. We eat that doughnut, that pasta, that pizza one day and figure the diet is history. We assume that a miserable morning means a miserable day or even a miserable life. We really are our own worst enemies.

So next time you find yourself slamming the door shut on your day, your diet, your exercise plan, your whatever, because some one (or two or three) things went wrong, stop. Take a deep breath – or several, as many as needed – and give yourself a reality check. The only way that one (or two or three) things that went wrong can ruin the rest of your day, diet, exercise plan, or even life, is if you let it/them. Don’t. You’re worth more than that. You deserve better than that.

Re-focus. Re-coup. And boogie forward. You got this! 

What Would (Insert Name of Favorite Action Hero) Do?

Your most recent attempt to persuade your boss of how much you deserve that raise/bonus/perk landed in the unfathomable depths of his "No way no how" with barely a ripple. You are depressed, disgusted, and yes - truth be told - massaging your hurt ego with liberal doses of self-pity.

Which brings to mind all the times your boss has been less than appreciative of your skills, talents, efforts, unpaid overtime, etc.  Like always! And down the road of history you go, your self-pity growing with each remembered slight until, virus-like, it pervades your whole being and you can barely function.

Now there’s a recipe for disaster! No doubt you’ve been wronged, and I'm sure it’s not the first time. But if you keep thinking about it, reviewing it over and over again in your mind, you’re simply replaying a very bad movie ad nauseam.

You’re way too savvy to pay good money to see a movie you hate repeatedly. So why are you going back to that hated/awful scene in your life obsessively?

Here’s the thing: the more you focus on "ain’t it awful" the less you see opportunities for something better. What you focus on, whatever you give your attention to, determines what you perceive. When you’re fixated on negative past experiences with your boss, you are missing what might benefit you here, now, in your present. You aren’t even considering what possibilities lie in the future - or in the next department over, or in that free-lance gig someone mentioned, or . . . you get the drift.

Get smart! Be like the hero/heroine of your favorite action movie. Shuck off the slime of self-pity, take a deep breath, and turn your gaze to what you want, not to what you didn’t get.

Put your imagination to work figuring out better ways to approach your boss, or influence him/her to that bonus or whatever it is. Get your solution mojo in gear and never ever look back.