Isn’t reacting just part of life? How can you possibly choose something as automatic as your reaction to things? You can’t. But what you can choose is how you respond to whatever it is. In this podcast, you’ll discover how your response is what allows you to operate from choice, your very valuable and personal choice, and can make all the difference in how your life goes.
https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp
Last week, I had a rather nasty disagreement with a colleague. Even though it got resolved – well, sort of – I found myself going over and over it in my mind. For days. Not a productive path to mental well-being, no way, no how.
I realized, somewhere amid my internal grousing, that I was letting my thoughts run me, instead of doing the intelligent thing--choosing deliberately the thoughts I dwell on. Huh! How about that? I am pickier about the produce I select at the store than I am about the thoughts I allow free rein through my mind. Pickier about what I’m going to wear on any given day, pickier about the gas I put in my car and pickier about pretty much everything else.
Enough already! I didn’t need to rehash the disagreement. What I needed to do was get picky about how I thought about it. I couldn’t very well shut off my brain, as tempting as that would be at times. So I returned to a truth I know that has served me very well over the years: people are always doing the best they can with what they’ve got from where they are at the time. That may not be their always “best,” it may not even look like any kind of best, but it is the best that is available to them, given what they know and where they’re at emotionally, mentally or physically.
That includes me. And apparently, grousing was the best I could do for a while. It doesn’t mean I had to stay stuck there. Reminding myself that I can certainly get picky about my thoughts helped me get back to a better place with myself--a saner perspective on the situation with my colleague.
Relief! So yes, get picky. Preferably not about other people--everyone
has the right to think as they choose--but about yourself! About what occupies
that space between your ears all day long. After all, don’t you want to be
doing the best you can with what you’ve got from where you are? And I’ll bet
your best is generally better than what you think it is.
Do you find yourself apologizing for other people’s misfortunes or unhappiness? Saying “I’m sorry” because they are suffering however, even when – and most often when – you had nothing to do with their particular unhappiness? In this podcast, you’ll discover what’s behind your “I’m Sorry” syndrome, and how to release it so you only say “I’m sorry” when you legitimately have something to be sorry for!
https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp
We are blessed with both a head and a heart. You’d think that would be enough to get us successfully through this adventure called ‘life.’ And yet, too often, we use one to the exclusion of the other, or use them upside down and backwards, as it were. In this podcast you’ll explore in specifics just how you might be able to use your head and heart together, harmoniously, to further your happiness and success!
https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp
Apart from writing, my dogs, and life generally, my great passion is Ballroom dancing. A totally off-the-wall pursuit, no doubt, but one that truly lights me up. In addition to my primary instructor and competition partner, I have the privilege of a second instructor, a lovely and talented woman, Sue.*
Sue was sipping her coffee one day as I slipped on my dancing shoes, and dang! The aroma of her coffee was exceptional. I asked Sue where she got it, and she told me she always made her own and that she started with buying just the right beans, grinding them herself every morning, so on and so on. Sue commented that her coffee was particularly tasty because, in her words, she tends to the “maximum effectiveness of each component.”
That’s exactly how Sue teaches Ballroom dancing. Nothing gets by her: feet, hands, head, every body part must be placed and move so as to assure “maximum effectiveness of each component.” That approach makes Sue an astonishingly effective instructor.
Approach Problems Differently. What could this possibly have to do with you? Well, let’s take a really simple issue: you want to get a good night’s sleep. You climb into bed an hour earlier, thinking that should do it, but no. You toss and turn, wake up 3 or 4 times in the night, and end up decidedly not refreshed. If instead, you looked at each component that might be contributing to your sleep or lack of, you could approach the problem differently.
For example, you might consider the temperature in your bedroom, the PJs you wear/don’t wear. If you watched the news last thing before lights out or rehashed that troublesome moment with your partner. If you ate dinner late. If your neighbors are habitually up late and noisy. There are at least a dozen components that may impact your sleep quality, not even mentioning your partner/pet's behavior in the same bed.
When you take the time and make the effort to look at each component separately, you will find that you can most certainly maximize their effectiveness. You can experiment with the temperature in your bedroom, your choice of night clothes, consider soothing music or watching light-hearted comedy before bed, having dinner earlier or wearing earplugs so not to be disturbed by noisy neighbors.
It may seem laborious to do all that just to assure a good night’s sleep, but think about it. You do this sleep thing every day of your life. Surely that is worth the investment of a little time and thought. especially given the impact of a good night’s sleep on how your day goes.
You can use the same approach with anything you want to improve in your life. Whether it’s how to go about getting a promotion at work, dealing with your teenagers, or playing pickleball. The subject matter is irrelevant. Any time you take a close look at how to get maximum effectiveness out of every component that plays a part in whatever it is you want, the more likely you are to have a successful result.
“Maximum effectiveness of each component.” A great way to lean into success.
*Name changed to protect privacy.
Ever wonder why no matter how much you browbeat yourself for doing something wrong or never getting ‘it,’ you just can’t seem to do better? Are you that incompetent? Heck, no! But It’s often how you approach something that keeps you stuck. In this podcast, you’ll learn a surprisingly simple approach that can make that vital difference between never getting ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ is) and getting ‘it.’
https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp
Why should ‘intent’ matter anyway? Isn’t the point that you do what you’re supposed to do, what’s ‘right’ and that’s that? No, In this podcast, you’ll discover how ‘intent’ matters to what you do. How without meaningful intent, what you do is often just a shallow display of “I’m better than you are” instead of something that brings you – as well as others – genuine satisfaction.
https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.NoelleNelsonUp
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the fo...
