Practice “Maximum Effectiveness”

 

Apart from writing, my dogs, and life generally, my great passion is Ballroom dancing. A totally off-the-wall pursuit, no doubt, but one that truly lights me up. In addition to my primary instructor and competition partner, I have the privilege of a second instructor, a lovely and talented woman, Sue.*

Sue was sipping her coffee one day as I slipped on my dancing shoes, and dang! The aroma of her coffee was exceptional.  I asked Sue where she got it, and she told me she always made her own and that she started with buying just the right beans, grinding them herself every morning, so on and so on. Sue commented that her coffee was particularly tasty because, in her words, she tends to the “maximum effectiveness of each component.”

That’s exactly how Sue teaches Ballroom dancing. Nothing gets by her: feet, hands, head, every body part must be placed and move so as to assure “maximum effectiveness of each component.” That approach makes Sue an astonishingly effective instructor.

Approach Problems Differently. What could this possibly have to do with you? Well, let’s take a really simple issue: you want to get a good night’s sleep. You climb into bed an hour earlier, thinking that should do it, but no. You toss and turn, wake up 3 or 4 times in the night, and end up decidedly not refreshed. If instead, you looked at each component that might be contributing to your sleep or lack of, you could approach the problem differently.

For example, you might consider the temperature in your bedroom, the PJs you wear/don’t wear. If you watched the news last thing before lights out or rehashed that troublesome moment with your partner. If you ate dinner late. If your neighbors are habitually up late and noisy. There are at least a dozen components that may impact your sleep quality, not even mentioning your partner/pet's behavior in the same bed.

When you take the time and make the effort to look at each component separately, you will find that you can most certainly maximize their effectiveness. You can experiment with the temperature in your bedroom, your choice of night clothes, consider soothing music or watching light-hearted comedy before bed, having dinner earlier or wearing earplugs so not to be disturbed by noisy neighbors.

It may seem laborious to do all that just to assure a good night’s sleep, but think about it. You do this sleep thing every day of your life. Surely that is worth the investment of a little time and thought. especially given the impact of a good night’s sleep on how your day goes.

You can use the same approach with anything you want to improve in your life. Whether it’s how to go about getting a promotion at work, dealing with your teenagers, or playing pickleball. The subject matter is irrelevant. Any time you take a close look at how to get maximum effectiveness out of every component that plays a part in whatever it is you want, the more likely you are to have a successful result.

“Maximum effectiveness of each component.” A great way to lean into success.

*Name changed to protect privacy.

Cool Your Jets

“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.

It was one thing to engage our patience and try to make the best of our altered way of life during the first months of the pandemic, but it’s another now that we realize that the end is not in sight and that we don’t know how much longer our patience must endure (along with no jobs, no schooling, etc.). Some of us resent masks, some of us swear by them; some think social distancing is ridiculous, others shy away from their fellow humans by far more than 6 feet. Regardless of our respective preferences, none of us are having a good time, and most of us are downright miserable.

But here’s the thing. Whether the current state of affairs has you scared to death, hopping mad, or swirling into depression, the only thing you achieve with your fear, rage or angst is potentially damaging your cardiovascular system and most certainly your immune system.

You see, our thoughts and emotions trigger certain chemicals in our brains, which then, through an intricate network of neurotransmitters, send messages to our body that impact every system in our bodies: our hormonal system, our cardiovascular system, our immune system, our gastrointestinal system and more. When our thoughts and consequent emotions are strongly negative (fear, rage, anger, despair), our bodies suffer.

What to do? Cool your jets. An expression from back in the 1970s that referred to the need for jet engines to cool off after a flight seems very appropriate today. Why? Because once you’ve taken whatever practical measures you believe are best for your health and well-being, the best thing you can do to assure your survival (mental, emotional and physical) is to let go of your negative emotions and focus on whatever is working in your life.

Easier said than done? No doubt. A fool’s errand? No. I’m not talking about burying your head in the sand and pretending all is well. It isn’t. But you can practice mindfulness (easy to do, lots of Internet help), meditation (let Google come to the rescue), whatever faith makes sense to you. You can journal or exercise, both prime ways of releasing negative emotions. Then you’ll have more head space to focus on what is working in your life, how you might make that better, what other resources or support you can explore.

Cool your jets. You’ll function better, feel better, and in the end, get through these demanding, exasperating, frustrating times better.

 

What I Learned From the Inventor of Zoom

If there’s one thing I noticed about our sheltering-in-place time, it’s that complaining did absolutely nothing about it. Zip. Nada. Complaining about the lack of work didn’t magically produce more work, ditto lack of income. Complaining about the ordeal – pardon me, challenge – of home-schooling (especially if more than one child was involved) didn’t make it less onerous. Complaining about the lack of TP didn’t make it grow on trees. In fact, all complaining did was annoy whoever else was around to hear it, and didn’t make you much happier either.

Most importantly, complaining about the possibility of catching the virus didn’t make it less probable, and if you did contract it, complaining about it didn’t make it go away faster either.

Problem-solving is the obvious answer to all of our complaints. Looking for answers, resources, for help with any given situation is – always – the way.

One of the more fascinating solutions many of us found to our self-isolation, was Zoom. A phenomenal invention that most people had never heard of pre-coronavirus. After all, we had FaceTime and Skype, weren’t those enough? Yet Zoom became the go-to for not-in-person meetings, rendezvous, and just plain chats.

Which got me wondering, how did Zoom come about in the first place? Love. Yup, you read that correctly. Love. No, I’m not talking about loving the planet and all those who inhabit it, I’m actually talking about the more common boy-meets-girl variety (or boy-meets-boy/girl-meets-girl, take your pick), the one-on-one type. Well, Eric S. Yuan, founder and CEO of Zoom, as a freshman in college in China had to take a ten-hour train ride in order to visit his girlfriend, now his wife, and although he road that train regularly (love will do that to you), he really detested the travel and tried to imagine other ways he could meet up with his girlfriend, travel-free. Some 15 or so years later, he was able to finally develop the virtual platform he’d dreamed of for so long. Zoom. Which is what has allowed us to connect with those we love, these many years later, in ways unimaginable during the previous pandemic of 1918.

If Eric Yuan could do it, why not us? Why can’t each of us take that thing we complain about the most and turn our complaining energy to better use, namely, problem-solving? Bitching about my inability to attend the ballroom dance lessons so dear to my competitive-ballroom-dancer-heart wasn’t/isn’t getting the COVID restrictions lifted any faster, and heaven knows ballroom-dancing is one of those up-close-and-personal sports likely to be last on the list of allowed activities. Sigh. Once I stopped whining, I decided to train myself to dance some new patterns, and to improve my basic technique one painstakingly slow day at a time. It’s working. No, it’s not what I’d like for the long term, but at least I feel that I’m being proactive and productive practicing in my kitchen, moving towards my ballroom goals. And when I flag, I remember Eric Yuan and how he developed Zoom.

What’s that one thing you love to do, that you can’t given our present circumstances? Or can’t do as much of as you’d like? Or in the way you’d like to be doing it? Put your excellent creative mind to use (yes, you have one), and figure out some way to work on whatever it is within the confines of our present experience. It’s far better for your heart, mind and soul than inflicting your groans and moans on everyone, yourself included.

Lessons from Coffee: What Do I Want?

When you walk into your favorite coffee place in the morning, I doubt that the first thing on your mind is, “How are the coffee bean plantations doing today?” If you are a true coffee aficionado, you may know that your preferred beans come from Columbia or Nicaragua, but you probably don’t worry much about the well-being of the coffee growers.

But companies such as Starbucks, Keurig Green Mountain, Illycaffe and others who rely on coffee beans for their very existence and continued growth, do. Coffee plantations world-wide have been experiencing unusual fluctuations in heat, rain and other environmental factors, which impact the available supply of beans for – guess what – your cup of joe! And those companies are investing boots-on-the-ground, as well as substantial funds, to help local coffee-growers find solutions to their issues.

Why should you care? Beyond caring about the price of your coffee-addiction doubling or tripling in the very near future. . . because these companies are demonstrating an approach to their problems that we all should be mindful of when approaching our own.

Too often, we (I!) expend entirely too much energy on bemoaning a problem: you can’t find a job, your current job is lame, your boyfriend/girlfriend left you for another, the economy is trashed, politics are killing us all, what’s that rash on your elbow?, your cell died in the middle of an important call . . . need I go on?

Problems! We all have them, of all kinds, shapes and sizes. Just like the coffee companies. And we need to do more of what they do: invest boots-on-the-ground and funds in getting creative. Looking beyond the problem to creative ways of addressing whatever the situation. Boots-on-the-ground would mean doing your research, on the web or in brainstorming with friends. Reading books (there’s a thought!), meditating on the question, seeking advice from those who’ve had similar issues. Funds? Well, that’s obvious. Take classes, seminars, get training of one sort or another, invest in a path that will take you past the issue.

It all starts with how you think about your issue. With getting off the blame-game, the “woe-is-me” pity party, the “it’s impossible” litany, just dumping that entire way of looking at things, and adopting the “It is what it is. Fine. Here’s what I want, let’s get on with it.”

Key words? “Here’s what I want,” rather than “Here’s what I don’t want.” That simple change in semantics will change the direction of your thought, which in turn, will get you on the path to resolving your issue, whatever it is. Yay!