Sixty & Me: Gratitude 101 for Older Women: Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving

When I was a little girl, my mother made my sister and I write thank-you notes to whoever gave us a gift, large or small, on our birthdays or for the Holidays. This from early on, when writing even one word was a laborious, tongue-biting experience

We both hated it. We truly did not understand why we needed to write thank-you notes when we’d already thanked the person verbally. Not only that, but we were not allowed to write just any generic note either.

Mother was a stern (albeit loving) taskmaster. Each note had to be personalized to the individual who gave us the present and reflect something we particularly appreciated about the gift. I can still remember the anguish of such forced creativity!

The Power of Gratitude

And yet… my mother had been right. Gratitude is powerful. Science teaches us that gratitude tends to foster better, closer relationships. Gratitude, an appreciative attitude towards others, expressed verbally or otherwise, expands our social circles and makes it easier to make friends....Read More

A Special Thanksgiving “Thanks” to Our Amazing Emergency Responders

Driving through one of Los Angeles’ many canyons recently, I came across an unfortunate accident. A car had crashed headlong into the side of the mountain. It was awful. First responders were already on the scene: half a dozen firefighters were maneuvering stretchers down the gully to the injured people. It was nothing like on TV. It was ugly, laborious, the firefighters had to sweat and strain to get the injured up and out. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter, affixed tubes and breathing apparatus and other necessary life-saving equipment to the injured as they were loaded onto the paramedics’ truck. Traffic was held up what felt like forever until sufficient police back-up could arrive to safely manage the necessary detour.

Once again, I was reminded of how amazing our emergency responders are, be they police officers, firefighters, paramedics, or members of our armed forces called out for such duty, as in the case of Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria. For example, the unexpected sight of a convoy of Arkansas Game and Fish officers driving down to Florida with fuel, coolers, boats and ATVs for Hurricane Irma victims.

It may seem strange to dedicate a Thanksgiving post to emergency responders, but that is exactly what I am doing. For as easy as it is to forget about emergency responders when there isn’t a crisis going on, they are miracle workers when there is.

Without a word of complaint, emergency responders dive into situations that would terrify most of us, and often at the risk of their own lives. In doing so, they rescue countless individuals who would otherwise perish in flame, flood or other disasters.

The Federal response to current crises is staggering. Take a quick look at the FEMA website if you’d like an idea of the magnitude of the humanitarian response. There is far too much for me to include in this brief post.

But beyond the response to major events, our emergency responders are there – morning, noon and night – for whatever, whenever and wherever they are needed. Which is why thinking of them at Thanksgiving, being grateful, whatever your political persuasion, for a governmental system that has made possible such life-saving efforts, is so important.

Personally, I take cookies to my local fire station every Thanksgiving. It isn’t much, I know, but it’s what I can think to do to express my gratitude for their “being there” in every sense of the term.

So in addition to my thanks this Thanksgiving for the many blessings in my life, for my friends, family, and furry “kids,” I will give thanks to these courageous individuals who give so selflessly of themselves that we may – hopefully – live, even when life goes terribly awry.

Ride the Wave: Hawaii 5-0’s Surprising Lesson in Thankfulness

Just the other night, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, “Hawaii 5-0,” where one of the main characters featured in that night’s episode was a young woman, a veteran, who’d served in Afghanistan, during which time she’d lost both legs. The show was forthright in its brief portrayal of some of the tough challenges such vets can face: depression, falling into substance abuse to alleviate the physical and mental anguish, homelessness.

But the clincher, for me, was to see this young woman, who (in the story) had been a surfing champion before her service, find the courage (with help from one of the show’s regulars) to ride the waves in her bikini on a board equipped with special hand-holds so she could “stand” proud and true, on the little bit that was left of her upper legs, a surfer once again.

I still cry when I think of it. Not only because I think the show is to be commended for its refusal to hide the character’s disability, but because it brought home to me vividly, that every one of our lives matter and have meaning.  Disabled lives, black lives, vet lives, transgender lives, homeless lives, children’s lives, white lives, Native American lives, immigrant lives, and all the other lives too numerous to mention. No matter what label or category you prefer to use to describe yourself (“Other” is my favorite), the truth is that all our lives are important.

You matter. You count. You are important. And so is everyone else in your world. In this season, where thankfulness is the order of the day, I want to be thankful for all those in my world. I want to remember, when someone annoys me, or does something differently than I would, or makes me downright mad, that, as my friend Mike Dooley so wisely says: “People are always doing the best they can, with what they’ve got, from where they are.” Regardless of what anyone else thinks of how they’re going about things.

That includes you, and me. And everyone else. To look at oneself and others as doing the best they can in that moment is humbling. It kicks in my compassion, my patience, and reminds me to try to understand others, rather than knee-jerk into criticism or blame.

And for that, I am deeply, truly thankful.