Read to Combat Stress

 

Reading. Something we do every day, in many ways. We read street signs, we read directions, we read texts and emails, we read instructions on everything from setting up a baby crib to how your manager wants you to approach a new project.

As an author, I read all the time. My own work (“that was awful” – delete!), other people’s work (endlessly), even my wine bottle. Ah yes, my new fav is a wine labeled “Well-Read”! I kid you not, the label is a painting of a cozy nook with shelves of books – how could I resist?!

That being said, the thing about reading is that we mostly take it for granted. We acknowledge the usefulness of reading, but that’s about it. And yet, there’s so much more to reading. No, not just in terms of entertainment or newly acquired knowledge, but in terms of your health.

Indeed! Did you know that according to research conducted at the University of Sussex, reading can reduce your stress level by up to 68%? That’s enormous! Not only that, but reading can lower your heart rate and ease muscular tension, which in turn facilitates relaxation. It doesn’t take much. Reading for as little as six minutes will relieve stress. Without any of those pesky side effects various substances/meds come with. You can even read for free! How’s that for a bonus. Public libraries still exist, and remain well-stocked with every kind of literary work.

The question is, what to read to achieve stress relief? Reading the news (online or off) often increases stress, so that’s not a good go-to. Reading what you’re required to study for work/continuing education is rarely pleasurable. No, the kind of reading that reduces stress is more of the fiction variety. A novel that takes you out of your ordinary existence and transports you to another time, another place, another planet, is ideal. A book that doesn’t require too much active thinking on your part, where you can mentally sit back and simply enjoy the characters and their story. Because it is the distraction from our daily cares and woes that provides the stress-relief so beneficial to our overall health and well-being.

Yes, you can certainly benefit from an audiobook, although generally speaking, the written word, whether read on your computer, iPad, e-book reader, or in paperback form, tends to engage more of our senses more completely. Thus a more complete distraction from the everyday.

My personal stress-relief reading is historical fiction. I love being transported to ancient Egypt, Tudor England, or the Italian Renaissance. I enjoy gleaning a bit of historical fact along with the invented characters and situations. Your joy may come from stories of alien empires, fantasy fiction, masterful detective work, it matters not. What matters is that whatever book you pick up/stream, you can slip into that world in your imagination easily and comfortably. And leave that world satisfied once you close the book for now.

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Reference:

Lewis, D. (2009) Galaxy Stress Research. Mindlab International, Sussex University, UK

Cool Your Jets

“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.

It was one thing to engage our patience and try to make the best of our altered way of life during the first months of the pandemic, but it’s another now that we realize that the end is not in sight and that we don’t know how much longer our patience must endure (along with no jobs, no schooling, etc.). Some of us resent masks, some of us swear by them; some think social distancing is ridiculous, others shy away from their fellow humans by far more than 6 feet. Regardless of our respective preferences, none of us are having a good time, and most of us are downright miserable.

But here’s the thing. Whether the current state of affairs has you scared to death, hopping mad, or swirling into depression, the only thing you achieve with your fear, rage or angst is potentially damaging your cardiovascular system and most certainly your immune system.

You see, our thoughts and emotions trigger certain chemicals in our brains, which then, through an intricate network of neurotransmitters, send messages to our body that impact every system in our bodies: our hormonal system, our cardiovascular system, our immune system, our gastrointestinal system and more. When our thoughts and consequent emotions are strongly negative (fear, rage, anger, despair), our bodies suffer.

What to do? Cool your jets. An expression from back in the 1970s that referred to the need for jet engines to cool off after a flight seems very appropriate today. Why? Because once you’ve taken whatever practical measures you believe are best for your health and well-being, the best thing you can do to assure your survival (mental, emotional and physical) is to let go of your negative emotions and focus on whatever is working in your life.

Easier said than done? No doubt. A fool’s errand? No. I’m not talking about burying your head in the sand and pretending all is well. It isn’t. But you can practice mindfulness (easy to do, lots of Internet help), meditation (let Google come to the rescue), whatever faith makes sense to you. You can journal or exercise, both prime ways of releasing negative emotions. Then you’ll have more head space to focus on what is working in your life, how you might make that better, what other resources or support you can explore.

Cool your jets. You’ll function better, feel better, and in the end, get through these demanding, exasperating, frustrating times better.

 

B.R.E.A.T.H.E. - Dealing With Stress In The Age Of COVID-19

 Our world is riddled with fear and anxiety. Finances. Aargh! How will we pay the rent/mortgage or have money to pay for food when we're out of work? We're lonely and miss the times when we could be with our friends and family. If we have kids, we agonize over what kind of impact the lockdown is having on them, and if we’ll survive home-schooling and 24/7/365 childcare. And then there’s the very real possibility that we or our loved ones might come down with the virus.

When our brain is hijacked by so many strong emotions, it may seem that there is nothing we can do to diminish our fear or anxiety. Yet, there is a way to manage how we feel. To start, just breathe. Not only physically breathe, but use the B.R.EA.T.H.E. technique, as described below.

Breathe

Take three deep breaths, focusing purely on your breath as you inhale (through your nose if you can) on a count of 4, hold for a count of 3, then exhale (through your mouth if you can) on a count of 4. This technique is called a “pattern interrupt.” Whenever an anxious thought creeps up, by focusing on your breathing for only a few moments, you will interrupt the pattern of panic or fearful emotions just long enough to calm down your racing mind, and your body’s over-active flight/fight response.

Deep breathing relaxes your heartbeat and steadies you so you can get back to constructive thought. You know, the problem-solving variety, as opposed to the “Chicken Little the sky is falling” variety. So, the first step to control anxiety is to take three, slow, deliberate deep breaths whenever the need arises.

Reclaim Your Relationships

Reclaim your relationships with your family, your significant other, your children and your friends. If you're with your kids at home, see it as a positive even if they're loud and demanding sometimes (OK, always). Appreciate this "forced togetherness" and view it as a unique opportunity to grow close. The internet is full of ideas and resources that can help you cope with being together intensely under one roof.

In addition, make the effort to call, text and set up Zoom gatherings with extended family and friends. You need their support, and they need yours. Connection is more vital now than ever. Be creative. This is not a time to ignore the relationships that matter to you.

Express Your Emotions

Find a safe person, someone you can trust with your emotional life. Finding such a person and interacting with them regularly can be a critical way of easing your anxiety. This can be a counselor, a minister, or a healthcare worker, for example. It’s tempting to unload on your BFF, but a professional is better equipped to deal with your fears and anxiety on an ongoing basis.

A good alternative - or adjunct - is to express your emotions in a private journal. Journaling gives you the opportunity to express your innermost feelings. It's your safe and private place to talk about the stresses you're feeling. Journaling can be cathartic since you're no longer holding your feelings inside. You don’t have to be a writer to journal. You can scribble nonsense on a pad, rage all over your keyboard, and be as ungrammatical as you like. Journaling is a release, not an exercise in either penmanship or prose.

Aim Your Focus

When we're in the midst of a crisis, the tendency is to allow our focus to drift back to the cause of your anxiety again and again. It keeps you up at night. All night. Not good for your health! Besides, rehashing your troubles endlessly only succeeds in making you more anxious, more stressed, more out of control.

Deliberately, purposefully aim your focus. When you find yourself drifting into useless worry or questioning, take charge and do your best to problem-solve. Be a MacGyver, get intrigued by what you can accomplish with what’s at hand, here and now, rather than sweating over what you can’t, obsessively.

Transform Your Negative Thoughts

Closely related to aiming your focus is transforming your negative thoughts. Be alert to when your thoughts veer into negative thinking. Reframe them into more positive statements.

So, for example, “I’ve been laid off, it’s horrible, how am I ever going to survive this?” can be reframed to “I’ve been laid off, OK, I’m not the only person experiencing this. I’m good at what I do, I will bounce back. I've applied for unemployment. That will help.”

Above all, be sincere. Don’t lie to yourself “Oh, it’s all going to be fine,” may eventually be true, but if that’s not what you believe in the here and now, don’t say it. One of my favorite reframes is “We’re one day closer to normal.” That, for me, has the ring of truth.

Heal Your Body

Pay attention to the physical manifestations of anxiety or stress. Stick with a healthy routine. Don't overeat or over drink. Don’t let the refrigerator or the drinks cabinet be your “go-to” when really you’re simply bored. Boredom is much better alleviated with exercise, or reading, or some kind of productive work than with munching your way through the day.

Make sure you are getting enough sleep, since good sleep is one of the body’s best restorative tools. Given that sleep can be difficult when you’re stressed, consider using one of the calming meditations readily available online, usually for free, to help lull you into sleep.

Get rid of your anxious thoughts before you turn the lights out: toss them into an imaginary wastebasket. Follow that up with writing down a list of everything you were grateful for that day, and let those be the thoughts you carry with you into slumber.

Exercise        

You love working out at the gym—but the gym is closed. You look forward to your weekly game of tennis with your friends—but the gate to tennis courts is locked. Don't make the excuse of not exercising because exercise options are no longer available. Exercise at home—there are multitudinous YouTube exercise videos of all kinds. I’ve found enough ballet barre videos to keep me going for quite a while! Exercise is not only good for your body, it releases endorphins that help you get into a more positive, calmer, less anxious frame of mind.

In Conclusion

Wash your hands, observe social distancing, wear that mask, and B.R.E.A.T.H.E.! Hopefully we’ll all meet together on the flip side of COVID-19, having weathered this challenging time successfully.

How to Tame the Stress Monster

You bury your head in your hands. You’d really like to run screaming from your cubicle, but for one, that would get you instantly fired, for two, your shoes are definitely not made for running. But the stress! Not only does your job stress you out, but there’s your family, friends, chores, errands, social media to keep up with – AARGH! It’s enough to make a grown man/woman weep.

So off you go to yoga/pilates (how to make the time for that is yet another stressor), or meditation class, or get up an hour earlier to run, anything to relieve the tension that seems to invade your every waking moment. I take that back – your every moment - because getting a good night’s sleep is a rarity, and even in your dreams it seems you’re stressed.

You think “Wouldn’t it be great to be a trust fund baby, or be able to take early retirement? Anything so I could just sit on a beach, drink pina coladas, and enjoy the view the rest of my days, stress free.” Well, not so much. I don’t know of any studies on trust fund babies, but certainly the studies on who’s happiest in retirement show that those who retire into “sit on the beach” mode end up dying but a few years later. Whereas those who retire from a job, find interests that stimulate them and are busier than ever, end up thriving and living long happy lives.

So it’s not really stress that’s the culprit, it’s how you look at it, and how you respond to it. Basically, stress is nothing more than stimulation, and as the studies on retirees who thrive show, you need stimulation in order to stay alive – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Stimulation is a good thing! Too much of it is a bad thing. And that’s generally what we’re referring to when we cry out, “I’m stressed!!” When you’re feeling “stressed” what’s really happening is you’re overwhelmed with too much stimulation from the outside world.

Why does that matter? Because there’s a world of difference between how you can deal with being overwhelmed by the situations in your life versus being “stressed.” “Stressed” is an emotional response to a situation. So you look for ways to soothe your painful emotions: thus the yoga/pilates, meditation, running and so forth. All of which are great and supportive of your overall health and well-being, but may not do much to alleviate what’s actually overwhelming you.

The first thing to do when you’re feeling “I’m stressed!!” is to take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What’s overwhelming me?” “Everything!” is not a helpful answer. Break it down into specifics. Because it’s only by looking at the specifics of the situations stressing you out that you can deal with them; undo, if you will, the overwhelm.

Secondly, check your boundaries. Most overwhelm comes out of our failure to set good boundaries. Whether it’s letting your boss know that you’re happy to do overtime one day a week but not more, or informing your kids that you will no longer be cleaning their bathrooms – they’re old enough to do it themselves and here’s how, or telling your S.O. that you appreciate his/her respecting that 15 minutes of quiet you need upon coming home before launching into the evening drill, all these are ways of setting boundaries and reducing overwhelm.

Thirdly, prioritize. Determine what’s the most important thing you want to accomplish in your job, with your relationship, your friends, your family, yourself! Then schedule your time first and foremost around that most important thing, and stick to it. Let everything else take second, third, fourth place – and if need be, eliminate some activities altogether. Nowhere is it written that if you don’t update your Facebook page every day, life as you know it is over. Try once a week, or once a month, whatever fits. Maybe your top relationship priority is your weekly date night. Great! Don’t let anything get in the way of it, and “date” with gusto.

It’s all about taking charge of your life. About allowing the stimulation that feels good to you, while actively, proactively, setting boundaries and prioritizing such that you don’t take on more stimulation than is right for you, and as a result, spiral down into overwhelm.

Anytime you feel that “I’m stressed!” emotion creeping up on you, stop! Remember it’s but an emotional response, and you can greatly diminish your stress by dealing directly with the situations that birthed that emotion.