Life Is Meant For Joy!

 

Really? With bills to pay, rent to cover, kids to corral, too much to do in too little time, especially with the Holidays upon us and all the extra stuff that needs tending, doing, paying for? Joy? Give it a rest.

Well, I would, except joy is our basic nature. It’s what everything else we do is aiming for. Yes, money is nice, but why? For the joy it brings us in the form of comfort and/or giving to others. Success is grand, but why? For the joy of accomplishment, of expressing ourselves to the fullest of our being-ness. Raising a family is for many, an ardent wish, but why? For the joy of it.

But too often, in the hectic pace of our lives, we forget about all this. We focus on all that is going wrong, or could go wrong, or might if we’re not incredibly careful, go wrong. And so, we miss out on the very essence of life - which babies and dogs know all about, BTW. Joy!

This special time of year is meant to be one of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and yes, joy. So why not give yourself the gift of joy? It’s easy and doesn’t cost a dime. All it takes is a willingness to focus a little more on what’s going right in your life. Or could go right. Or might, just might, go right.

Like the fact that the sun came up, pretty much right on cue. That the earth is still turning in its orbit. Dang! You’re still breathing. And then there are the circumstances of your life that are personal to you. For me, it’s that despite a tweaked knee, I’m still dancing. My dogs are wonderful, even when they trek their muddy paws all over my newly washed floors. I have friends who are happy to see me, and I them. Joy!

As you go through your days, this Holiday Season, allow yourself to notice your “going rights” wherever they may be, big or small. Because every time you appreciate what’s going right in your life, you add to your overall happiness, and isn’t that what it’s all about, anyway?

Joy!

 

Win the Battle, Lose the Love! Episode 102, Season 4

Why can’t your partner seem to get with the agreements you made about the budget or other things? You’re right, you know you’re right, you keep your side of agreements, but here’s the thing. Your partner’s all upset with you! Perfect, wonderful you. This means you may have won that battle, but you’re on the way to losing your love. Discover in this podcast how to resolve your relationship issues in a way that handles what needs to be handled without sacrificing your love in the process.

Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.

Check out this latest episode!

Let Go or Get Dragged! Episode 101, Season 4

Are you ever frustrated over how little things irritate you, that you just can’t seem to get over? You do great with major crises, but dealing with your mother-in-law or snarky co-worker is beyond you. In this podcast, find out what’s truly in the way of letting go of life’s annoyances, so you don’t get dragged into misery on a daily basis!

Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.

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Ho-Ho-Ho, the Joy of Saying “No”

 

Ah, the upcoming Holiday Season--starting with Thanksgiving and ramping up through Christmas, with no let-up until the beginning of the year. For those who are already tired from a year’s worth of work, kids, parents, chores, and everything else, the Holiday Season, despite the many joys it may bring, can feel simply exhausting. Overwhelming. Cringe-worthy.

But what’s a body to do? Pull the covers over your head and hide in bed for the next two months? Probably not a good idea, given your family obligations, relatives coming to visit, expectations at work, and so on.

There is another way. Two, actually.

1. Just Say “No.”

You’re appalled. How dare I suggest such a thing when people are counting on you? Who’s going to bake all those cookies for the school holiday party? And the Thanksgiving turkey? You don’t trust your partner to do it properly, look at how they overcooked the last one. Plus, you’ll no doubt be asked to join the holiday choir (like last year), organize the holiday potluck at work, and probably play Secret Santa as well.

Saying “No” is all about how you say it. When you say, “No, thank you, but I appreciate your asking,” it’s hard for the asker to get upset with you. They may not like the answer, but you were so polite and straightforward that they realized they could do nothing about it. Then be ready with an easy, equally straightforward reason (if requested) for your “No,” such as “I need to focus on other priorities for now.” Most people will be reluctant to press further, but if they do, a vague “family matters” or such will suffice.

2. Delegate. How? To Whom?

One of the easiest ways to delegate over the holidays is to enroll the help of your local grocery store. I kid you not. Pre-cooked turkeys, already-baked cookies, and all sorts of other holiday goodies are readily available. You just need to get over your “I have to do it all myself” or your belief that only you can cook a turkey/bake cookies properly.

For other matters, delegate by asking for help. Yes, it’s OK not to be perfect, not to be Wonder-Human, and to need assistance. If you ask with “please” and “thank you” in your request, you’d be surprised at how nicely people will generally respond. Will the person do whatever you’ve asked exactly as you would? Probably not. Will it still be good enough? Probably yes.

Give yourself a break this Holiday Season. Saying “no” and delegating will go a long way toward easing your end-of-year exhaustion.

Don’t Drag Your Old Relationship Into the New, Episode 100, Season 4

Yes, it is totally annoying when your new love does something that reminds you horrifically of your ex. The one you never want to think about ever ever again. But you don’t want to leave your new love, so what to do? In this podcast, you’ll be introduced to an easy technique that will let your new love flourish in the way you so want and deserve! 

Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.

 

Check out this latest episode!

Is It Your Mood or Your Attitude? Episode 99, Season 4

You may think that mood and attitude are one and the same. Not so. Mood is condition-based, but attitude is chosen. This means that you can lift yourself out of a nasty mood, once you know how to do it. In this podcast, you’ll explore some ways to deal with your mood so you can lift out of grumpiness or frustration into an attitude that assuredly will lead to greater happiness quickly!

Listen to all Up! Podcasts here.

Check out this latest episode!

 

 

The mind-body connection is real. It’s not just a cute phrase, the brain actually releases certain hormones and other chemicals in direct response to our thoughts: endorphins, for example, when we’re happy, cortisol when we’re stressed. These hormones and chemicals impact how we function, how we thrive – or don’t. This is why what we tell ourselves about ourselves is so very important.

This, in turn, is why I was so impressed by what I read recently about Seun Adebiyi, who was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia while he was training for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. Instead of saying “I have cancer” a potentially depressing and frightening thought, he said, “Doctors and nurses looked at me like I was crazy, but I never accepted their perspective that I was a ‘cancer patient.’ In my mind, I was an Olympic hopeful who just happened to be overcoming cancer.” He did and went on to carry the Olympic torch for Nigeria in the 2018 Winter Olympic Games, cancer-free.

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself! The words you speak have impact. Saying to yourself when you make a mistake, things like “I’m so stupid,” or “I always mess up” are damaging to the whole of you – mind, body, spirit. Not that we need to whitewash everything, “Oh, I’m so perfect,” but rather choose the words you speak to reflect reality, not to slap labels on your entire being.

“I made a mistake, ok. What can I learn from this?” is a positive and hopeful message to yourself. “I’m such an idiot,” is not. “My partner left me, I’m unloveable” labels you with a negative and damaging self-assessment. “My partner left me. I am hurting and need to heal,” simply reflects reality. Not a beat-yourself-over-the-head condemnation.

Words are powerful. Choose yours wisely to the great benefit of a wonderful YOU!